Monday, April 29, 2013

Obuaism chronicles – chapter 35 ~ Land of chaos

Last chapter, Jan was captured by pirates and held captive by the notorious pirate, the great Gangplank. Also, he met a pirate with the name of cannon Jun. Due to the fact that Jan did not want to serve under another flag, he was “sentenced” to execution by gangplank

Cannon Jun: Cap’n, ya don’t have to be so cruel would you? He didn’t even do anything to you, why must you kill him?

Gangplank: Honestly, I have no idea, but I just felt that it’s cooler for me to kill my captives than release them. Set a better example for my men ah…

Cannon Jun: I see…

As Gangplank turns his back to Cannon Jun, Jun drew out his pistol, pointing it to Gangplank.

Cannon Jun: Too bad… They’re not your men anymore.

With that, he fired a bullet straight to the head of gangplank and killed him instantly.

Jan: Wha…? How the hell are you so accurate?

Cannon Jun: Lim bei seven years old start to fire my gun below, eight years old start assembling guns, nine years old get my marksman badge for every single kind of gun.

Jan: …. Why did you kill him anyways?

Cannon Jun: this dictator on the ship has ill treated me and the others for long enough, this was a mutiny.

Jan: So… you’re the new captain now?

Cannon Jun: Yes.

Jan: So….. can I go now?

Cannon Jun: No.

Jan: … say real one, you play me ah? Why not!?

Cannon Jun: This ship just broke down, we’re stuck here for now, unless you wanna jump ship that is…

Jan: …

Meanwhile, in some Mountain…

Zee: I wonder where the others disappeared to…

Waiman: Yeah…

Zee: The sky is getting dark… We need to find shelter… Last few nights had been terrible with all those never been seen before monsters attacking us…

Waiman: Yeah, from some wolfman to a dragon to a scarecrow with tons of crows to a troll to a golem… what’s with this place…

Zee: Still dare to say, I was the one killing them while you’re doping on your stupid wee-…. Is that a town?

In front of Zee, a gigantic city was in sight

2 hours later…

Zee: This city seems cool… just that we have no cash to stay in a hotel…

Waiman: Hey, look at this…

Waiman points to a poster

Zee: tag team tournament… Prize money, $9000+++… interesting…

Waiman: Wanna join?

Zee: …. Wouldn’t it be like 1v2 for our case since you’ll just be smoking your weed?

Waiman: Oi, I don’t only know how to smoke weed hor, its cause you all too op must give handicap to the opponents ma…

Zee: Fine fine, lets enter.

And thus, zee and waiman joined the tournament, and fought with various warriors from this unknown land, and reached the finals.

Finals

Zee: huff… huff…. Walan eh, smoke smoke smoke, I 1v2 all the way leh, tiring one leh….

Waiman: Aiya, I conserving my ability til the last battle ma…

???: My name is Dyrus, you’ll regret opposing me.

???: Welcome to the league of dreyvan!

Announcer: And now, for our final bout, the Obuaian Duo, versus the blood brothers!

Zee: So…. On e guy with a huge ass axe and another with two throwing axes… probably brothers…

Waiman: This bout…. You shall rest my friend, I’ll take care of them.

Zee: Sure not…?

Waiman: of cour-

Dreyvan: Whirling destruction!

Dyrus Sudden Death Ksing strike!

Before waiman could finish his sentence, dreyvan threw two axes and dyrus jumps towards the obuaian duo.

Waiman: Sigh…. At least let me finish my sentence la…

Waiman conjures out a shotgun and fires a massive shot which instantly vaporized dyrus and dreyvan’s axes, leaving them with no weapon.

Dyrus: Wha…. Wadafaq happened?

Waiman: Usually you’ll be vaporized as well, but seeing how this is just a tourney, I changed the bullet to one that doesn’t affect any living organisms.

Dreyvan: … We surrend-… Ugh…..

Dyrus: Broth-… ugh….

Zee: What the hell’s happening?

???: Welcome to the great city of Pasba, the divine country of the west. Congratulations on winning the tournament.

Waiman: Ehh….. Thanks, but…. Why did you kill them?

???: Oh… They…. Shouldn’t be here in the first place. Well…. Sort of like copy right issues.

Zee: ok…. So…. Who in the hell are you?

???: The name is Sek, or you can call me Donkey, royal advisor of this humble town.

Waiman: *lights a joint* Ok… so wassup….

Sek: We are in need of strong warriors, thus this tourney was hosted. Would you serve under our flag?

Zee: There’s only one lord we’ll serve, and I hope you’ll respect our decision. We just joined due to the prize money.

Sek: If you do not join, you won’t be getting a cent.

Zee: Why not? We won, didn’t we?

Sek: Look at this…

Sek holds up the poster

Sek: I quote… “Tag team tournament, prize money $9000+++.”

Zee: ya ah, correct ma…

Sek: that is where you’re wrong!

Sek takes out a gigantic magnifying glass, holds it in front of the poster

Sek: I quote again, “*Terms and conditions apply*”, and the terms are “Only applicable for the winners when they sign on to join the Pasba royal forces for a minimum bond of 4 years.”

Zee: wakao, eh not fair leh, you write until so small, who can see sia…

Sek: So I ask you again, will you join us?

Waiman: You hear the man earlier, we have only one lord.

Zee: Wait….. waiman, how come you seem normal while smoking your joint ah….

Waiman: This land no weed leh… smoking grass now….

Sek: So since you guys have no intention to join us, good luck. Guards! There’re two spies here, you know what to do.

Pasbar royal guard captain: Spies!

Zee: Shit… We’re surrounded…

Waiman: What now?

???: Heh, time to make my flashy entrance.

To be continued

Precious - 10:02 PM

Monday, April 29, 2013

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