Sunday, September 16, 2012

Obuaism Chronicles – Chapter 34 ~ Path to a new world

New O-hq

Jan: So … Yeah, been a long time, Lexa… What brings you here?

Lexa: I’ve heard you’d need some firepower, so yeah, here I am…

Zee: I see… Well, pretty glad we have you here, we would be dead if not for your timely appearance.

Lexa: Don’t mention it. So.. this is the amount of people we have…?

Zee: Yeah…

Waiman: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…… is that enemy I see there…?

Jan: Walan eh… kns, just came back from a big battle now another battle…? Sigh, to arms!

Outside New O-hq

Jan: Ok shit… this is one heck of an army….

Zee: We are… damn out numbered this time…

???: Heh, Mein Name ist Hitler, verbeugen sich vor mir! (My name is hitler, bow before me!)

Jan: So… we have hitler with his army there…

???: 毛泽东在此，准备送死吧！(Mao Zedong is here, prepare to die!)

Zee: Ok…. Then we have chairman mao there… I wonder who else is joining the party…

???: Go my terrorists! Let them eat our turban bombs for a****! For I am Osama!

???: Onwards! Kill all of them, leave none of them, or my name is not Saddam!

Kiat: now terrorists has appear as well…

???: Ленин - это имя Мое, в советской России, вам не пустяк, мы объединились.( Lenin is my name, in soviet russia, you don't invade us, we invade you.)

Waiman: Lenin eh…. We have a hella party here man...

Zee: Ok… so our small army of 35000 soldiers, against terrorists, communists, Nazis and uh…. Russians…?

Kiat: Reporting, their total strength is over 900000!!!! This is an impossible battle!

Jan: Ehhhhhh Lexa, can do the same shit you do on the bridge earlier? The cute cute mushroom cloud….

Lexa: Uhhh… We’re surrounded…?

Waiman: uhhh… am I high…? Or is there something in the sky….?

Zee: Seems like… a vortex or some sorts…

Jan: Well…. I don’t think I’m high… But it seems to be getting bigger…

Boii: Boiiiiii its impossible to escape from us, and if you’re trying to escape while diverting our attention, its pretty much useless. We’re not stupid! Boiiiii! Go my men!

Osama/Saddam/Lenin/Mao/Hitler: CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The great neo-axis army charged at the obuaism forces, but as they close down, suddenly the from the eye of the vortex, a ray of light appeared, shining towards the obuaism warriors.

Zee: Arghhh Its so bright!

Jan: I feel like I’m flying!

Lexa: Damn, what’s happening to us??

Kiat: Can’t see shit, what’s happening!?!?

Waiman: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I’m tripping, I’m flying, this batch of weed is so awesome!!!!

And slowly, the obuaism warriors got sucked into the eye of the vortex, while the neo-axis forces and Boii stared in disbelief.

Boii: BOIII, FUCK! They always escape one! Wtf, its not fair! Not the first time already! @#@(!&^%(@!(#*!!!!!

127 hours later, in a world which is not known to man.

Location: ???

Jan: Ughhhhh, where’m I… Where’s everyone else….?

Jan woke up alone in a forest, with none of his ally in sight.

Jan: Ugh, what the hell happened… I remembered New o-hq was attacked by a big force… then a vortex appeared… and some bright light sucked us in here… but where’re the others….? Zee!! Kiat!!! Lexa!!! Waiman!!!!?!?!?!?

Jan: Ugh…. No point staying here, shall walk around I guess…

So jan, picked up his golden flachions and explored his surroundings.

1 hour later, at some beach area.

Jan: Hmm, seems like there’s a ship there, maybe I’ll ask for directions…

So jan walked towards the ship, when he was attacked by a group of pirates-looking foes.

Pirate group leader: Arrrh, what luck, to find ye, a lone landrubber on our territory, men, capture him!

Jan: Heh, you fools think you can defeat me?

Jan draws his sword, when out of sudden, he felt a sharp pain on his neck.

Jan: Ughh, whats…. Thi…ss…….?

Pirate sidekick: I got him, sire, a tranquilizer dart right at his neck.

Pirate group leader: Lets bring him back to our leader.

2 hours later, on the decks of the pirate ship.

Jan: Ughhhh….. What’s this… where’m I…?

Jan woke up finding himself bound onto a pole.

???: I see yerrr awake. So tell me, what’re you doing in our territory?

A man with a cutlass on his waist and a hand cannon behind him appeared.

Jan: ugh, who are you, what the fuck, I just walk around and I get attacked by pirates who sleep darted me and now I see myself tied to this pole…..

“Pirate Lord” Cannon Jun: Me name is Pirate Jun, lord pirate of this ship. 7 years old started smoking, 8 years old started drinking, 9 years old joined this pirate crew, 10 years old became the lord of the se-

???: Pirate lord I see…? His mother one, who’s the pirate lord?

Cannon Jun: Ehhh, shit, sorry sire, you are, captain gangplank.

Gangplank: Heh. So now, landrubber, would you serve under my crew, under my flag?

Jan: I only have a lord whom I will serve, and he is surely not you, pui!

Gangplank: His mother one,. give you chance to live you also don't want, very well. Men, prepare the plank, lets feed him to whatever’s down below the sea!

Crew: Aye capt’n!

Jan: Ugh, is this…. The end…?

To be continued.

Precious - 6:53 AM

Sunday, September 16, 2012

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