Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Obuaism Chronicles – chapter 33 ~ Battle of Woodlands Checkpoint
Bridge
Woodlands Custom Bridge (Obua Forces Camp)
Jan: Damn, their army is like freaking big, how?
Zee: Siao liao… we 3 with 20,000 soldiers, hard to win leh…
Furthermore…
*Flashback*
Woodlands Custom Bridge (Battleground)
???: heheh, there are unexplained phenomenons. Now, you all shall be
destroyed by my supreme force!!
Jan: Aiya, north Korean army, technology like 30 years ago one,
scared what?
Zee: Ya hor, we all use lasers, beams, soundwaves and whatsoever
unrealistic shit already, they still using swords or guns… Kim Jong-il, want
fight war also use better technology ma…
Kim: Heh, you think I’m not ready for this war? My 300,000 soldiers
are equipped with the newest nuclear handgun, a powerful gun which fires
nuclear bullets with a blast radius of 400AoE.
Zee: Eh wtf, why still got AoE one? How big is 400AoE?
Kim: This you also dunno, a circle of 4 meters lor, fool, now you
still think you got a chance?
Jan: Ok this time really siao
liao….
Kim: Heheheh- Shit… Timeout for 2 hours, I need to go toilet,
stomachache! Lets have a truce!
Zee/Kiat/Jan: …….
*back to live*
Jan: But heng leh, he need shit now we got time prepare…
Zee: Prepare what? I think by the time I reach the enemy area with
my dual blades I already kena blasted to smithereens le…
Kiat: No choice la, time’s almost up… We gotta go fight them already…
Woodlands Custom Bridge (Battleground)
Kim: So have you all prepare to come back and die?
Zee: We’ll see about that… For all you know, in a count of 5, you’d
probably be dead.
Kim: Oh? We’ll see about that.
Zee: *whispers* Ok guys, here’s the plan, he count til 5, we throw
smokebomb run ok?
Jan/Kiat: Set….
Zee: Ok, you dare, you close your eyes and countdown from 5. You
sure die one.
Kim: Heh, we’ll see… *closes eyes* Ok… 5….4……3…..
Jan: Quick leh your smokebomb!
Zee: Shit I bring wrong! The one is that time make for waiman that
Weedbomb!
Meanwhile, back at the New O-hq
Waiman: *cough cough* wtf is this, diz no weed, this is… ugh, smoke?
Back to the Woodlands Custom Bridge (Battlegrounds)
Jan: Sigh, amen….
Kiat: gg…
Kim: 2…….1..-
Suddenly as Kim was gonna say zero, he disappeared into a mushroom cloud
caused by a large explosion from below him, along with his entire army.
Zee: Wtf was that!?
Kiat: No idea…
Jan: Woah, that’s the cutest mushroom cloud I’ve ever seen….
Zee: Yeah, hands down, but that saved us, and destroyed the custom bridge…
Now People won’t be able to attack us from Malaysia now…
Jan: But I wondered who helped us…
Suddenly, a stranger appeared.
???: Its been some time, Zee, Jan.
Zee: Oh!!! So it was you, should’ve known!!!
Jan: yeah lor, shit, memory getting bad sia…
To be continued.
Meanwhile, back at the New O-Hq…. as it slowly becomes a O-hq ruins
again….
Waiman: Woahhhhhhh this smokebomb aint bad, freaking
haiiiiighhhhhhh, wooooooooooooooooooh! If not for that thunderous coughing from
somewhere, it’ll be better!
Obua: *Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhcough Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhcough* wtf is with
all this smoke, *ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhcough
ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhcough*
Thursday, July 19, 2012
It’s the long awaited return of obuaism chronicles, like after 2
years, finally…
Jan: walao eh, finally ah…
Waiman: Sure damn crappy one…
Obuaism Chronicles – Chapter 32 ~ Neo-Singapore, end of old threats,
appearance of new threats.
Outside o-hq
Jan: Shit, why is William Wallace revived!?
William Wallace: Revived? Hah, you foolish mortals, I’m an immort-
Before William Wallace could finish his sentence, the sky turned
dark, and a large vortex appeared.
Zee: Wha- What’s happening!?
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a
gigantic meteor appeared and landed on the face of Singapore, wiping out half
of the country.
18 hours later
O-hq ruins
Jan: Ughhh… What happened…?
Zee: I don’t know… some meteor apparently flew down… Derrick? Waiman? Kiat? You guys ok?
Zee: I don’t know… some meteor apparently flew down… Derrick? Waiman? Kiat? You guys ok?
Waiman: … yeah… fuck, I’m high as fuck….
Kiat: I’m here, but…. I think derrick was killed by the meteor…
Jan: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo….. wait, who gives
a damn…
Zee: Kiat, help us check the casualties from that meteor.
Kiat: Apparently, the NYL
clan was completely wiped out. The eternal dominion and boii clan has
disappeared from the face of earth, but there’s no signs of their deaths except
some of their kar kias. Marc and Ler has disappeared too.
Jan: Wait, how the hell... you get the info so fast??
Kiat: #wtfthatmeteorite. Trending worldwide.
Jan/Zee: ……
Zee: Anyways, we shall use this chance to mobilize our forces. Jan,
you go unify the whole of Singapore under our control, I’ll stay here with this
crackpot and Kiat to rebuild our hq.
2 hours later
Zee: Ok… now the final decorations….
Jan: Done, the whole of Singapore is under our control.
Zee: Wtf, so fast!?
Jan: You never play those war games meh? Those castle that no one
inside one normally just walk past you take over liao…
Zee: ….
Jan: Ok la, I took a knife and pointed at this man called Lee Boring
Dragon to give me the deed of the whole Singapore.
Waiman: Ughhhhhhh… Well, what do we do now?
Zee: I don’t know… No enemies, no boi-clans, Nylclans….
Kiat: Hold on, we’re receiving a transmission from Antarctica!
“*Bzzt* Boiiiiiiii, I have returned. Today, I shall declare war on
all of you guys!”
Zee/Jan: What!? That was awfully a fast return from boii! What do
you mean?
Boii: Boiiii, during the time where you guys are K.O-ed, I’ve made
formidable allies. Now lets play a game. This shall be our final battle. If you
defeat all my allies, you win. If you lose Singapore, you lose, fair enough?
Jan: You’re on!
Boii: boiiiiii, my first ally is already on his way to attack you,
heheeheheheheh, good luck, may the odds be ever in your favour! Now if you
would excuse me… Geerrrr, I’m comi-
Kiat: *Switches off the transmission*
Obuaian soldier: Sires, a large force of enemy has reportedly arriving
at the customs!
Zee/Jan: Lets go!
So Zee, Jan and Kiat travelled to the Woodlands Customs with a force
of 20,000 to meet with the enemy.
Woodlands custom
Zee: Eh wait, where’s Waiman?
Jan: High as fuck, smoking
his… y’know….
Zee: …
Jan: Come to think of it…. The enemy has a pretty large force…
Kiat: Estimated amount, around 300,000
Jan: Shit….
???: Heheheh, Its seems you fools have arrived.
Zee: Wait… isn’t that…
Jan: It is….
Kiat: But shouldn’t he be dead like last year December 17…?
???: Heheh, there are unexplained phenomenons. Now, you all shall be destroyed by my supreme force!!
To be continued…
Jan: Ehh Zee, you remember go this guy called oldtiger? Where he
disappear to anyways ah?
Zee: Aiya, ask the writer lor, stupid one always come in one character then disappear one…
Zee: Aiya, ask the writer lor, stupid one always come in one character then disappear one…
Derrick: WHY DO I HAVE TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE………… T.T
Jan/Zee: GHOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
SUDDEN POST
This summer.....
*scene transits into a dark room*
Jan: where...am..i?
BOOM!
*Scene transits to a garden with canaries flying everywhere*
Zee: Birds...are...amazing creatures..they fly and shit all over the place..
Derrick: Erm..those are ladybugs
Zee: Shut up Derrick!
In the lands of eternal war struggles, the battle enters its climax
*Scene transits to a battlefield, William Wallace flying on an airship*
Wallace: THEY MAY TAKE OUR LIVES BUT THEY MAY NEVER TAKE...BANG!
*He crashes into a wall...*
The warriors shall bloom once more, all for the sake of humanity.
*A tea party..*
Jan: Lalala obua obua, lalalala obua obua
Kiat: thats a nice song, where did you learn it from?
Jan: Obuatube.com...
The fights get more epic...
*On a hill, Gerr beating up a rabbit*
Gerr: That...*Bam*...is...*Bam*...for...*Bam*..stealing my bun!
The warriors gain more strength....
*Cloakman*
???: This potion will grant you 544393732932050 exp and will cost $2000 per bottle...
The enemies get tougher...
*Cloakman again..*
???: This potion will cost your enemies to lose 544393732932050 exp and will cost $2000 per bottle
New Allies...
*Cloakman...again?*
???: Hi Obuaians, I am your new merchant and I'm here to aid you and your friends against your enemy
New Enemies...
???: Hi Boii-ians,
I am your new merchant and I'm here to aid you and your friends against your enemy
OBUAISM SEASON 2
COMING SOON.....