Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Obuaism Chronicles - Chapter 31 ~ Allies searching again
O-Hq
Jan: I'm back...
Derrick: Finally, how did it go?
Jan: This is oldtiger, fluffytiger's father
Waiman: What!? That bastard's father!?
Oldtiger: I'm sorry, i'm really sorry for what my son has done... I myself can't control him, ever since his sister's death to the Boii clan, he has been lusting for power and has joined the boii clan in hope of revenge, but he seemed to be brainwashed by boii... If there is anything i can do, my axe is under your command, what I want is just his freedom from the grasp of the boii clan
Jan: So thats why fluffytiger is under control of the boii clan...
Derrick: you better not betray us, old man...
Oldtiger: i swear on my dick.
Derrick: Well, then welcome to the Obuaians!
Jan: Now i wonder how zee is doing...
A random hut in Sungei Buloh
Zee: Brother Kiat, you there?
Kiat: Brother Zee! its been a long time... I've been waiting...
Zee: So you made up your mind?
Kiat: I guess, after all the eternal dominion assholes and boii-ian bitches are pissing me off
Zee: Well, lets go then
(Sounds of leafs rustling could be heard)
Kiat: Shit, they've found this location!
Zee: an ambush?
Kiat: Yea, be on your guard!
Outside Kiat's hut
glbin: Heh, give up now, fools, you have no chance of escaping!
zee: I can't believe you brought so much people with you, you really want us dead uh?
glbin: heh, i have to make sure you die, no?
kiat: Its either you're weak or you're a coward to bring such a big number to attack 2 people...
glbin: is 7 of us considered big number?
zee: ....
kiat: ........
(glbin, teitei, homeborn, joeseth, hopping mushroom, whaeli, mopling are the 7 of them just for the reader's info)
teitei: Actually isn't this kinda like... bullying?
glbin: ... whatever, prepare to die, you two!
kiat: get ready, zee
zee: you too, kiat...
kiat: let us use our ultimate technique!
zee: you got it!
glbin: what the hell?
kiat/zee: ok... gas mask on.... SMOKE BOMB! ZAO ZAO ZAO!!!
glbin: *cough* fucking cowards!!! *cough*
The area was surrounded in smoke and as the smoke subsided, kiat and zee were nowhere to be seen.
glbin: shit it...
2 hours later, back at O-HQ
Zee: that was damn bloody close...
Jan: Welcome back... Oh you've brought kiat back
Kiat: yo
Zee: he can provide us with the extra manpower we need anyways... so who's this old man?
Oldtiger: I'm oldtiger, fluffytiger's father
zee: I see.... wait, what!? Fluffytiger's father? Why the hell are you here!?
Jan: don't worry, he's on our side.
Derek: Eh siao liao, we're under attack!!
Zee: Walan eh, i just got back lei wtf...
Jan: Sigh, lets just get ready for battle...
Outside O-HQ
Fluffytiger: Today shall be the day where you guys will get eliminated!!
glbin: damn those two that escaped me, we shall destroy o-hq today!
Jan: Wa... almost full force lei they all... how?
Zee: Eh, last castle liao lei, if we lose this battle we will be eliminated lei...
Kiat: I guess lets prepare for battle then...
Derek: Wait... What is that figure there? A new foe?
glbin: Sire, i guess its time for you to introduce yourself to the obuaism maggots!
Gerr: Heh, I am Gerr, husband of boii, rised from the depth of hell to do battle with you guys!
Waiman: The hell is with this guy? He sound like fail character created just for the sake of comedy....
Gerr: How dare you? You shall pay for that phrase! But today, it shall not be I, who will do battle with you, *mutters incarnation* from the depths of hell, i summon thee, my good friend, destroy my enemies for me!
*A magic circle appears, and slowly a figure appeared in the middle*
???: Its been a long time.... since i have felt the glorious warmth of the sun...
Gerr: I shall leave this to you pal... *retreats*
???: As you wish, my old friend...
Jan: Wait... that figure... is so damn familiar!
Derek: Its... its......
Waiman: Isn't him that....
Zee/Jan/Derek/Waiman: ENGLISHMAN!?
???: ENGLISH!? THEY MAY TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY MAY NOT TAKE OUR FREEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!
Thus was another noisy day outside of the o-hq...
to be continued....
Friday, August 6, 2010
Chapter 30 ~ Engage
BHG(Boii-headquarter-grounds)
Fluffytiger: Μάιος οι διάβολοι σε βάθη της κόλασης ακούει την προσφορά μου, απαιτώ με το παρόν έγγραφο τη βοήθειά σας για να αναβιώσω Obpskuang!
(A magic circle appears below the cauldron with contains the ingredients for reviving obpskuang)
Fluffytiger: Its working!!!
(A ray of darkness engulfed the area and a shadow of a humanoid figure appeared)
Fluffytiger: Lord Obpskuang, you're finally back...
???: Obpskuang? Who the fuck is that?
Fluffytiger: Who the hell are you then!?
(The shadow slowly lifted and a armour freak appeared)
Boii: Boiiiiii, are you who i think you are????: Boii!? Its been so long, how i missed you!
Fluffytiger: Eh wait wtf, who the hell is this armour freak!? How come you know him, lady boii!?
???: Infidel! My name is Gerr, I am Boii's husband... well, maybe before i died, but i'm back.
Boii: Boiiiiii, i missed you so my dear!!!
Gerr: Wait, why have thou two summoned me!?
Fluffytiger: We were summoning another of our comrade, but it seemed to have summoned you instead, milord.
Gerr: You mean that obpskuang you mentioned about earlier?? If it didn't work then it must be that he is not dead yet.
Boii: Boiiiii, i just remembered! oh i must be getting senile... Obpskuang is not dead yet, he's just in our cell, 18 levels below this building, the one fighting along side us was an undercover sent by me....
Fluffytiger: .......
Meanwhile, at the EDHQ
Steven: Phew, just a little bit more and i would have been raped by this swine...
(An unconscious marc was seen beside him)
Steven: Thanks, Boon
Boon: No prob, now to settle this guy...
(marc is thrown into a empty room with only a hole at the top for ventilation)
Boon: everything about him has been analyzed. We have all his weaknesses and we shall use it to destroy him.
2 hours later....
Marc: Ugh... where am...i?
Boon(through a speaker): I see you're awake, Marc of the oof
Marc: What the!? Who the hell are you, why am i here? What is this place? How did i end up here!?!?!?!?
Boon: Shut the hell up, i'm not here to answer your questions, i'm here to torture you
Marc: Hah! I'll wanna see you try! I'm not afraid of anything!
Boon: I see... Fine then, lets see about this!
(12 fat buang horny little girls were thrown into the cell from the hole on the top)
Marc: The fu-
Boon: That is not all...
(Barney's theme song starts to play from the speakers)
Boon: Have fun!
Marc: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
O-hq
Jan: Sigh, only we 4 left...
Zee: Yea...
Derrick: How sia?
Waiman: We're gonna get owned like this...
Zee: Jan, lets go recruit some people i guess
Jan: sigh, well, lets go again i guess
And so, Zee and Jan set off on a journey to search for new allies.
Jan's side, In a forest near EDHQ
Jan: Ugh, hard to find good warriors nowadays...
*in a distance*
???: *huff, huff* damnit!
Jan: Huh? What's happening over there??
(Jan moves towards the voice)
Steven: Hmph, infiltrators shall be killed
Boon: Heh, you think we wouldn't notice huh!?
???: Damnit, ugh, Eternal dominion, my daughter was killed by you scums, i must have my revenge!
Jan: Hold your horses!
???: Huh?
Jan: This isn't a fair fight, 2v1, you cowards, ganging up on this poor old man
Boon: Oh? Fine, i'll leave, i'll leave them to you, steven.
Steven: Heh, sure thing brother.
(Boon leaves)
Steven: Heh, now which of you shall be my prey?
Jan: Stand back, old man, leave this to me.
???: be careful, young one, and i have a name, my name is oldtiger
Jan: Oldtiger? sounds familiar, whatever, prepare to die, steven!
Steven: Heh, you are jan, no?
Jan: So what if i am? (am i really that famous?)
Steven: Heh, of course i know you're Jan, this should be an easy fight
Jan: Don't underestimate me, fool
Steven: I am, cause i know you're weak! Windcutter!
(A gust of wind suddenly blows by and the pressure slices off jan's arm with his rings)
Jan: Argh!!! Wa eh chiu!!!!!!
Steven: Jan, wa si..... lin lao bei!!!!!!
Jan: Wha-!?!?!?!?!? BO KOR NENG!!! BO KOR NENG!!!! WA LAO BEI SI LIAO!!!!!!
Steven: Heh, As you can see, i'm pretty much alive, my son, come join me in eternal dominion, i'll make sure I get our healers to reattach your arm.
Jan: Fuck you! I will never give in to you! Because of you mom is dead, i'm gonna fucking kill you!!!!!!!!!
(A purple aura emerged from Jan's emotion)
Jan: What.... is... this... feeling!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
(The purple aura changes colour to red)
Jan: URUWAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Jan's 3 rings from the sliced off arm shatters and the dust reforms a new arm from jan's shoulder)
Jan: I can feel the power, my arm is filled with spirit power!! Prepare to die you motherfucker! Sabre of the elements!
(A beam of light appears above jan's palm and a sabre appears)
Jan: By the order of heavens, may lightning strike upon your very soul, Tazer bolt!
(the sky darkens, a crow flys by and shitted on Steven's head)
Jan: ....
Steven: ....
Jan: ..............
Steven: .....thats it...?
Jan: .... i have no idea...?
Steven: BwaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, what a stupid move, such incarnations all for nothing, time to die now my son...
(Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes down on the location where the crow shitted on and after it connects, created a gigantic explosion)
Steven: f...u....c.....k......(And that was the last time anyone heard or seen of steven)
Jan: phew, finally, mom is avenged....
Oldtiger: Thank yo-
NEA Officer: EH YOU WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH THE TREES THERE!!!! DON'T RUN!!!
Jan: Shit!!! Run!!! Lets talk later!!!
Oldtiger: Gotcha!!! Zao zao zao!!
Back at O-hq
Derrick: Sigh...
Waiman: sigh.......
Derrick: what are you sighing about waiman?
Waiman: I dunno, the same as you're sighing about ba....
Derrick: yea... we like damn calefare lor, always so little screen time compared to the others...
Waiman: damn the writer la, always give screen time to the others, we must complain
Derrick: ya! Lets sign a petition, so that we will have more screen time!
Waiman: i second that!
And thus, was another dull day in the O-hq.