After a week of Hiatus, the oof returns!

OoF chapter 18 - Jan's new awakening

It was another day in the O-castle...

Zee[Obua]: Seems like we'll be in a disadvantage huh, due to the fact that they're real warriors and we can't use our abilities...
Jan[Obua]: Yea... Now my god mode is totally useless, and my sword and shield is at the verge of breaking due to that last fight with that stupid mongolian...
Zee[Obua]: I guess we really need to train...
Jan[Obua]: Yea, but how?
Zee[Obua]: Hell if i know...
Derrick[Obua]: Bad news! Mongols again!

~Outside O-castle~
Subutai[Mongol]: Rrahh!!! Where the fuck is the stupid brat I fought last time!?
Jan[Obua]: If you wanna fight then come on!
Subutai[Mongol]: Heh, so there you are, brat, prepare to die, this time I won't go easy!
Jan[Obua]: Neither would I! Godmode, sword mode!
[Instead of jan's white katana appearing, his sword and shield shattered into dust]
Jan[Obua]: Wh... What the hell!?
Subutai[Mongol]: What lousy quality your weapon is, heh, now you shall be smited by my pike!
Jan[Obua]: Shit...
Zee[Obua]: Jan!
???[???]: Halt, you shall not enter the arena!
Zee[Obua]: What the, who the hell are you?
[A lady in a cloak suddenly appeared floating]

???[???]: My name is Rin, one of the Judges of this world.
Zee[Obua]: Guardian? What do you mean?
Rin: This world is a world created by the great lord, "he who must not be named", easier known as hwmnbn. Of this world, the army that is victorious will be the army that unifies the land. Of course, there're many special rules to follow.
Zee[Obua]: rules?
Rin: Yes, this is one of them. Now currently Subutai and Jan is having a duel, and a barrier, also known as the arena, will appear in a large radius around them, and since its a duel, when anyone unrelated to the duel enters the arena, they will be immediately teleported to the black coffin.
Zee[Obua]: Black coffin?
Rin: Black coffin is a dimension in space hwmnbn created to prison rule breakers. No one ever lives after going into the black coffin, so its advised not to break any rules.
Zee[Obua]: How bout the other rules?
Rin: You'll know in due time.

Subutai[Mongol]: Hey bitch, you finished with your babbling? Can I finish this brat now?
Rin: Did I say anything about pausing the battle? Spastic fool...
Subutai[Mongol]: Wha-? You BITCH!!! Die!
Rin: You sure you want to attack me? Rule number 2, never attack the judges.
Subutai[Mongol]: Ugh, shit, bitch, nevermind, now die brat!
[Subutai lifts his pike, and slashes down at Jan]
Jan[Obua]: I see... So you two haven't abandoned me huh...
Subutai[Mongol]: So those were your last words eh? DIE!!
Jan[Obua]: Heh... Are you so foolish that you do not know I can evade?
[Jan dodge rolls away from subutai's slow attack, as subutai's pike hits the ground, causing a large tremor due to his strength]

Zee[Obua]: What strength...
Rin: That is of course, different clans have different specialties, some are individualist abilities, some are clan-based abilities. Subutai's is an example of a clan-based ability, which is superhuman strength.
Zee[Obua]: I see.. how about our clan?
Rin: Clan obua eh? They're of individualist abilities.
Zee[Obua]: I see...

Jan[Obua]: Heh, you think that slow attack would kill me eh, spastic fool?
Subutai[Mongol]: Grr, nevermind, since you do not have a weapon, you'll eventually die, bastard!
Jan[Obua]: Who says I don't have weapons? I do to be exact
Subutai[Mongol]: Enough of your bluffs, now die!
Jan[Obua]: You're really a fool i guess, I don't lie, come now, my loyal pets!
[the dust of the sword and shield jan used flies towards jan's location and materialises into 3 wolves, with different eye colours, blue, red and yellow beside him]
Subutai[Mongol]: Wolves eh? It'll be an easy job for me since mongols are born hunters!
Jan[Obua]: Who says they're merely wolves? They're my weapons, and if you still think its a bluff, then prepare to die
Subutai[Mongol]: I would like to see that!
Jan[Obua]: Materialize, lightnin!
[The yellow eyed wolf scatters into dust and materializes as two gloves on Jan's hands]
Subutai[Mongol]: Heh, what would the gloves do? Punch me? What a fool, now die!
[Subutai charges over]
Jan[Obua]: Reckless...
[Jan suddenly disappears and appeared behind subutai and gave him a volley of punches before subutai even noticed]
Subutai[Mongol]: Ugh, what speed... But that wouldn't kill me, cause your punches are weak!
[Subutai immediately tries a back hand slash on jan but as he turns, Jan disappears again]
Subutai[Mongol]: Coward! If you dare, fight me like a man!
Jan[Obua]: I will, but instead, killing you would be better.
[Jan appears beside Subutai and as subutai notices, Jan's right arm was charged with a yellow glow]
Jan[Obua]: Taser punch, don't worry, it'll only hurt for a while.
[Jan unleashes a heavy punch, and as his punch connects, Subutai, due to the impact and the strong voltage, was toasted instantly and died]

Rin: As Subutai is unable to battle, Jan will be the winner of this match. Arena removed, my job here is done, good day.
[Rin disappears]

Jan[Obua]: I did it I guess... Unsummon...
[The three wolves scattered to dust and turns into a ring on Jan's finger]
Zee[Obua]: Good job, seems like you got a new ability, congrats
Jan[Obua]: Yea, thanks, now we might stand a chance now.
Zee[Obua]: yea...

~back in the O-castle~
William Wallace[Obua]: cough cough... damnit, my throat is so sore now...
Marc[Obua]: ENGLISH!
William Wallace[Obua]: En-cough-lish!? The-cough-y may tak-cough-e our li-coughves... [Faints due to exhaustion]
Ler[Obua]: Guess we went a little too much?

And thus, was another eventful day in the O-castle.

A surprise release for Soccer has been posted!?

Soccer - Chapter 7

TV: And we're now live at the Fonte Nova stadium, Salvador, to witness this match of Singapore vs Sweden. Last week's defeat of Ukraine by Singapore was indeed a shocking result. Today, we're here to watch Singapore play against sweden. How will this turn out? Favorites are for a draw today due to Singapore's great play against Ukraine, but Sweden is not a pushover team.

And now, we have an interview with the banned player of the Singapore team, Ler

Bing La deng(reporter): So now we have here Mr Ler from the Singapore team. Mind if we ask you some questions?
Ler: Ya sure...
Bing la deng: Ok, so what're your thoughts of getting banned?
Ler: Well, i kinda deserved it due to my outburst... So no choice lor...
Bing La deng: Ok... Then what have you got to say about tonight's game against Sweden? You think Singapore will win?
Ler: Of course la! kena sai, you think those stupid swedish bastards can win us meh kaninabuchaojibai, ask them go home eat their swedish meatballs la!
bing La Deng: Uh.. ok... Thats the end of the interview, thank you mr ler.
Ler: ya don't mention...

So now on to the live event.

Ricardo Prakash(Commentary a): Ohkay, vhile the two teams are coming in, lets have a look at their lineups for today.





















Wang Ba-dang(Commentary B): It seems that they're playing the same formation as the last game against Ukraine. Now for the sweden lineup...

...
...

Wang ba-dang: uh... seems like we have some error, i think its impossible to show the lineup i guess.

Ricardo Prakash: Bullshit... Vhateva, the match is starting and its Singapore who'll be starting the game.

0' Singapore kicks off.

1' Zee passes a long ball to Waiman, and he crosses in, Derrick heads, and it goes wide, sadly.

3' Another offensive chance by Singapore as Zee dribbles past 3 players, he does a long shot! no, its not a shot, but rather a driving pass to noh alam shah, who does a diving header, but a nice save by Isaksson.

7' Singapore seems to be in complete control of this game, and now, mark does a pass to zee, and zee to derrick to the left wings, a cross in! Waiman cuts in from the right and does a left legged volley! Oh, it deflected the top right corner, sad for them.

26' Ibrahimovic makes the first attempt at the goal for sweden, but it was easily saved by the SGGGK, Jan.

38' Zee gets into position to take the free kick, what a acute angle, I wonder how will he take this(Its at the left side of the penalty box). He takes the kick! Its curling i- no! It curls the second time out and its Jan!? He shoots! GOAL!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A GOAL! Its a bloody 48 Yard strike! Beautiful shot!

Singapore 1 - 0 Sweden
38' Jan

41' Jan passes to Marc, marc to Waiman, and waiman dribbles down. [Waiman: shit, everyone is marked... and 2 defenders are closing down on me...] Waiman pulls to a halt.. whats he trying to do? He takes a shot at full power from just infront of the midfield line!? The ball is like a bullet, and it hits Kallstrom on his shoulder, causing him to stagger, and Waiman takes the chance to dash forward, catching the rebound and with a solo effort, shoots! What a goal! Isaksson has totally no chance against that shot!

Singapore 2 - 0 Sweden
38' Jan, 41' Waiman

45' Halftime, this has been a really one-sided match so far for Singapore...

To be continued....

OOF/Soccer will be on hiatus while the author looks for more information. See ya on the next chapter around next week.

Oof-Chapter 17b- From another world, and the beginning of everything.

[Notice: This will be a really short post as its just an addon to the last chapter, and I'm rushing to catch an exam in 1 hour time]

~In the northwestern land of Xiang Ping~
???[???]: Where the hell are we damnit?
???[???]: Shuddap, chicken-wuss, its obviously another world.
???[???]: Damn you, Seifer...
Seifer[???]: Heh
???[???]: Zell, Seifer, stop it. We're now here with the other warriors from the final fantasy lands, don't make us lose face.
Seifer[FF]: Yea yea, whatever, Squall...
...
...
...
Ramza[FF]: Well, its quite surprising, people from different era of Final fantasy gathering in this place...
Cloud[FF]: Hmph...
Tidus[FF]: Indeed...
Auron[FF]: Lets have a headcount...

-FF Army-
Ramza
Delita
Orlandu
Mustadio
Cloud
Barret
Tifa
Sephiroth
Squall
Rinoa
Zell
Seifer
Zidane
Steiner
Kuja
Beatrix
Tidus
Auron
Khimari
Jecht

---

Tifa[FF]: Wow thats an awful lot of us.
Steiner[FF]: Yes, now we shall conquer this land!
Seifer[FF]: Heh...

[FF Forces info: Should be the strongest force in the area, as these warriors are from different worlds in Gaia. The only weakpoint they have is that they do not have an army.]

~O-castle~
Jan[Obua]: Bored... We really ought to attack some country now.

[Suddenly a loud voice echoed from the skies]

???[???]: All the forces have arrived in this realm. From now, the war has begun, and will not end unless this world is unified under a single force!

Zee[Obua]: Wha-? This sounds more like a game to me than a war damnit...
Jan[Obua]: Yea, but its a freaking war... I wonder how will this war turn out...
William Wallace[Obua]: THEY MAY TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY WILL NOT TAKE... OUR FREEDOM!!!!
Jan/Zee[Obua]: !?!? Eh what the hell?
Marc[Obua]: Hahahaha, Its so fun disiaoing him... hey William, ENGLISH!
William Wallace[Obua]: ENGLISH!? THEY MAY TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY WILL NOT TAKE... OUR FREEDOM!!!!
Jan/Zee[Obua]: -_-'''

And thus was another noisy day in the O-castle

OoF Chapter 17- The war begins(part 2)

~O-Castle[Obua]~
William Wallace[Obua]: Milord, a messanger from the takeda army has arrived with a letter requesting for reinforcement.

Zee[Obua]: Hmm... Lets send Ler go ba...
Ler[Obua]: Ok lor..

And so, ler set off to Shan Yue to assist the Takeda army.

~Shan Yue[Takeda]~
???[???]: Lord Bishamonten, god of war, grant me the power to smite my foes!
Shingen Takeda[Takeda]: Ah my friend, so its you, Kenshin. Its been some time since we had a war eh?
Kenshin Uesugi[Uesugi]: Indeed, but this war, you shall lose!
[The war began and Ler arrived just in time]
Ler[Obua]: Shingen takeda, I'm here to assist!
Yukimura Sanada[Takeda]: Great! Reinforcements!
Kenshin Uesugi[Uesugi]: Damn, this isn't good, Naoe, prepare the arbalest!
Kanetsugu Naoe[Uesugi]: Aye milord!
Ler[Obua]: Heh, you think that machine would work against me?[Ler rides at the uesugi army alone with his hammer]
Yukimura Sanada[Takeda]: General Ler, No! Don't be crazy! You can't defeat a while army by charging in alone!
Ler[Obua]: Who careeeeeeeeeeees!!!
[The sky suddenly turned dark and a thunderstorm started. The weather was so bad that it became impossible to continue the war and both forces retreated]

Shingen Takeda[Takeda]: So god wants us to stop fighting this war eh? You should thank god for saving you, Kenshin...

~Outside Tian Shui[???]~
Glbin[NYL]: Attack!! They have no more than 300 men left! We shall defeat them!
???[???]: I guess this is it... a new age has come, an age of freedom, and we know that 300 spartans give their lives to defend it! This is where we hold them! This is where we FIGHT! This is where they DIE! Give them nothing, but take from them everything! No retreat, no surrender. That is spartan law. And by spartan law we will stand and fight, and die! Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time!
G.g.d[NYL]: Diam la, talk so much... kao eh, want to die already still talk so much, stupid spartan king...
King Leonidas[Spartan]: Shutup fool, for THIS IS SPART-
[Before King leonidas could finish his sentence, an arrow flew directly into the middle of his forehead, killing him instantly]
Ahni: [blows the tip of her crossbow] What a noisy idiot, he deserves to die...
Glbin[NYL]: *Thoughts* Scary... What great accuracy
G.g.d[NYL]: Then now for the 299... [G.g.d shoots 10 laser beams from her fingers, killing creating mass destruction in the area where the 299 units are]
Glbin[NYL]: Alright, our first victory, now Tianshui is under our control!

Suddenly, a voice could be heard from the heavens.
???: The Spartan clan has been wiped out by the NYL forces in Tian shui.

~O-castle[Obua]~
Jan[Obua]: Did you hear that?
Zee[Obua]: Yea... seems like the NYL clan made their move...

~Pu Yang[Shu]~
Zhuge Liang[Shu]: Sima Yi, I never expected you to come and meet me, what is it?
Sima Yi[Wei]: Zhuge Liang, I never wanted to come and meet you, but there is something we need to discuss.
Zhuge Liang[Shu]: Yes, I know, about who is the one controlling Luo Yang right?
Sima Yi[Wei]: Yes, ever since that quake, china wasn't what it was used to be. Weird people appeared around here and we received attacks randomly. Further more, non of the people from our era is controling Luo yang and I've heard the imperial seal was destroyed.
Zhuge Liang[Shu]: I know, now I guess we really need to ally up in order to defend ourselves?
Sima Yi[Wei]: Indeed, Zhuge Liang.
Zhuge Liang[Shu]: Ok, I accept the alliance on behalf of milord.
[And so, the Shu and Wei armies were allied together.

~Luo Yang[???]~
???[???]: Ehhhehhehehehe... This war is getting interesting, eh, Zuo Ci?
Zuo Ci[???]: Indeed, we shall see how the mortals handle themselves.
???[???]: Xu Chang is pretty near to Luo Yang. We'll need to defend at Hu Lao Gate. Taigong wang-
Jiang Ziya[???]: I prefered to be called Jiang Ziya.
???[???]: Ok, Jiang Ziya, I'll leave it to you to entice Lu Bu over our side. We need his abilities.
Jiang Ziya[???]: Yes sire, leave to the one, the great, the amazing, me!
[Jiang Ziya leaves Luo Yang to recruit Lu Bu]

TO be continued....

OOF- Chapter 16 - The war begins

On our last chapter, the Obuanians were attacked by the Mongols lead by Subutai, and Jan was about to have a duel against him.

Subutai[Mongol]: Heheh, you think you can win me with that little sword eh?
[Subutai is a well build person, and his weapon of choice is a pike]
Jan[Obua]: En Garde!
[Jan, in his sword form without the abilities, began to attack]


[The fight between Subutai and Jan was one of Jan's biggest challange, due to the fact that he can't use his abilities and Subutai's strength, he was at the losing end]

Jan[Obua]: Damn... I'd really need my abilities in order to win...
Zee[Obua]: Jan, you must win this!
Jan[Obua]: Easy for you to say la... But he's really too strong for me...

???[???]: Attack!!!!!!!!!
[Suddenly, from the west, an army of Calvary rushed towards the O-castle]
???[???]: Show them the might of the Takeda Calvary!
[The "Takeda Calvary" managed to push the mongolian army back and caused Subutai to retreat]
Jan[Obua]: Who are you and why did you help us?
???[???]: My name is Yukimura Sanada, commander of the Takeda Calvary. My lord, Shingen has requested me to assist you and ask for your agreement in an alliance.
Zee[Obua]: Alliance eh? But how did you know we were here?
Yukimura Sanada[Takeda]: We planted a CCTV over the hill there, and saw you guys arrive in this chaotic land. When you were attacked by our enemy, the Mongols, we decided to help out.
Jan[Obua]: I see, that is I guess a great plan. We'll need to get some allies in order to survive over here.
Yukimura Sanada[Takeda]: Ah, a wise choice sire, well then, I shall take my leave and inform Lord Shingen about this.
[Yukimura rides off]
Zee[Obua]: Hold on... I remembered something weird about our conversation earlier... Did he just said CCTV!?....

~Cheng Du~
"Emperor" Yuan Shu[Yuan]: What? The unknown forces have breached the main gates!? Men men! Protect me!
???[???]: Foolish soldiers, obliterate them!
Yuan Shu[Yuan]: Kill those idiots!
Yuan Soldiers: Wahhh wahhh!! They're really very fomidable!
???[???]: If you guys do not wish to die, I can help, but on one condition.
Yuan Soldiers: We'll accept all conditions!
???[???]: Ok, from now, you work for me, now seize that Emperor!
[Yuan Shu, at this time, was the emperor as he had the Imperial Seal on his hands]
Yuan Shu[Yuan]: Damnit, this is outrageous! Who are you and how dare you attack the palace of the Emperor!?
???[???]: Me? I'm known as Nobunaga Oda, leader of the Oda forces. Now I shall lead this land with this Imperial Seal!
Yuan Shu[Yuan]: I will not hand the Imperial seal over! [Yuan Shu lifts the Imperial Seal up high in the air, and smashes it to the ground with full force, smashing it into smithereens], now I shall take my own life, rather than have you take my life!
[Yuan Shu suicided]
Nobunaga Oda[Oda]: Interesting... What a fool, this would never end like this if he obeyed my commands... Monkey, we shall set our base here!
Monkey(?)[Oda]: Yes sire.
[Spoiler: Monkey's real name is Hideyoshi Hashiba, but Nobunaga calls him Monkey normally]

~Shan Yue~
???[???]: You have returned, Yukimura, so how was it? Did they accept?
Yukimura Sanada[Takeda]: Yes, my lord, they did.
Shingen Takeda[Takeda]: I see, so its gone as I planned, bwahahahahahhaahhaha... What fools those "obuanians" are...


~O-castle~
Morphling[Obua]: Eh Jan, Zee, there's a man named William Wallace who wish to meet you two.
Zee[Obua]: William wallance!? What is that man doing in this era?
Jan[Obua]: It seems that its not just asians getting into this land... Even westerners like Scottish do....
[Jan and Zee sees a knight with the looks of a great commander, with a long sword etched by the side of his armour]
William Wallace[???]: Its a pleasure to meet you two commanders, my name is William Wallane, humble soldier of the Scottish resistance in the wars of scottish independance. I've been travelling this land for some time, looking for a force to take me in, and you're the first castle I came across, is it possible for little ol' me to serve under you two?
Jan[Obua]:*whispers* oi... his angmoh slang damn epic... i don't understand what he talking...
Zee[Obua]:*whispers* other than the he want join us, I also cannot hear...
Jan[Obua]: *whispers* So he wants to join our army eh? I would accept that, he got the looks of a great commander.
Zee[Obua]: Alright, William Wallace, you're allowed to join our forces, but one thing is, we'll need you to fix a little of your English as its a little bit too accented for us.
William Wallace[Obua]: What!? English!? THEY MAY TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY WILL NOT TAKE... OUR FREEDOM!!!
Zee/Jan[Obua]: Wtf!?!?!???

And thus, was another day in the O-h... O-Castle.

Oof chapter 15 - The Land of china
[Note: This chapter has little amount of comedy and the obuanians]

~Another day in O-h.. O-castle~

Derrick: Alright guys, I've drawn a map of this era of china... Here it is...

Jan: Liar... It writes Romance of the Three Kingdoms VI and Koei below...
Derrick: Okok... I downloaded it off the internet...
Zee: Hold on... download!?... There's internet here!?
Derrick: Ya... i don't know how also... come see...

[Derrick boots up the pc]
[PC: Wireless- ROTK, signal, very good]

Jan: Wtfh!?
Zee: Rofl?
Marc: Er?
Ler: Uh huh!...

Jan: er, ok... whatever, but where're we now?
Derrick: Our current location is at Nan Hai, to the south. I've also gotten news that the other two clans, boii-ians and the nyl clan has been warped here too, and they currently reside in Xiang Ping and Qiang respectively, to the north west and north east.
Zee: I see, any other news?
Derrick: It seems that there's a war happening here at the moment, among heroes of the three kingdoms, shu, wu, wei and a few other factions. two of the other factions we currently know are Lu Bu's forces and the Nanman forces residing in Xu Chang and Nanman respectively.
Marc: Interesting...

~Wan castle~
Cao cao[Wei]: What? We've been attacked? by people we have not seen before? defend against them at all costs! we shall not falter!
Yu Jin[Wei]: Yes sire!

~Outside Wan castle~
[A big muscular man wearing a lion pelt armour carrying two board swords could be seen]
???[???]: Rarrrh! I'm known as La Hire! Bow before my might!
Wei soldier: WahH!!! He's really strong! Help!!
Dian Wei[Wei]: Hmph, useless fools, It seems I have to deal with you myself!
La Hire[???]: Gahahaha, I would like to see you try!
[Dian wei is a man of large build quite similar to La Hire, who uses a hand axe and a big flail]
Dian Wei[Wei]: Hahahaha! Take this!
[The two giants fought in a earth shaking duel, and every soldier were watching]
Dian Wei[Wei]: Heh, you're not bad! Who do you serve?
La Hire[???}: La hire serves ze great French army, under lady Joan of Arc!
Dian Wei[Wei]: Lady eh!? Hahahahaha, interesting!
La Hire[France]: Whats so funny? You're a great warrior yourself, why not join the French army?
Dian Wei[Wei]: Sorry I'll have to decline that offer, for I'm a loyal servant of Lord Cao cao!
La hire[France]: Your loyalty is admirable. La Hire shall retreat for now, lets have a duel again!
Dian Wei[Wei]: Hahaha, men, don't pursue, he is an interesting one... French army eh? Never heard of them...

~Outside Chen Liu~
Guan Yu[Shu]: What are these people? They look nothing like us!
Zhang Fei[Shu]: They look more pale than us, maybe they're sick, brother?
Guan Yu[Shu]: Doesn't seem like it, but their archers are really accurate and the arrows fly with great force, be on your guard, brother!

???[???]: Heh, what do you think, sir Lancelot?
Lancelot[???]: Those two are pretty strong, Gawain, why not we go down to test their abilities?
Gawain[???]: It would be an honor to fight along side you, sir Lancelot.
Lancelot[???]: Drop the sir, my friend.

[Lancelot and Gawain rides down to the outskirts of Chen Liu]

Guan Yu[Shu]: It seems that the enemy leaders has shown themselves eh?
Zhang Fei[Shu]: Heh. this should be fun!
Guan Yu[Shu]: Don't be hasty brother, you two, why do you wish to attack us?
Lancelot[???]: We, serve under the mighty King Arthur, members of the Knights of the Round table, is here to unite this land!
Guan Yu[Shu]: Unite this land? What nonsense, its impossible to unite this land in chaos.
Gawain[Roundtable]: Utter Rubbish! Our King will be the first emperor of this land!
Guan Yu[Shu]: *whispers* Brother, we need to hold out until reinforcements arrive.
Zhang Fei[Shu]: *whispers* yea i know brother, but I'm itching for a fight, i'll challange one of them to a duel to drag time i guess!
Guan Yu[Shu]: No brot-
Zhang Fei[Shu]: I'm Zhang Fei of Yan, who here is brave enough to step forward to challange me?
Gawain[Roundtable]: I, Gawain accept your challange!
[Guan Yu, a man with a long beard. Along with his blue dragon(crescent blade), he is a force to be reckoned with, and has the brain to match that]
[Zhang Fei, a man with an unruly beard. Carrying his Snakespear, he is a strong opponent for anyone challanging him, but abit reckless most of the times]
[Gawain, a man in heavy armour, with a long halberd. Known to be a person with a kind heart outside war]
[Lancelot, a man in heavy armour, with a long sword, known as a swordmaster and one of the best knights in the round table]

Zhang Fei[Shu]: Gwahahaha, interesting, lets go then!
[It was a fierce battle. Zhang Fei's aggression in strength against Gawain's gracefulness in technique, neither seemed to show any weaknesses]
Zhang Fei[Shu]: Tch, not going down eh?
Gawain[Roundtable]: You're pretty strong yourself

[Suddenly, another knight of the Roundtable appears]
???[Roundtable]: Sire Lancelot, I've brought a little soldiers over to help you.
Lancelot[Roundtable]: Great, Bors, you've done well, we should be able to win this battle.
Guan Yu[Shu]: Damn... Reinforcements for them, this seems grim... Brother, where are the reinforcements...

Zhao Yun[Shu]: Zhao Yun from Chang Shan is here to help!
[Zhao Yuns army arrives from Ping Yuan]

Liu Bei[Shu]: Brothers! I'm here to aid you!
[Liu Bei's army arrives from Pu Yang]

Lu Bu[Lubu]: You owe me one, Liu bei!
[Lu bu's forces arrives from Xu Chang]

Gawain[Roundtable]: Damn, so this is what you're aiming for...
Zhang Fei[Shu]: Heheheh, its too late now isn't it?
[Gawain retreats to Lancelot's location]

Lancelot[Roundtable]: We need to fight our way out... They've a army too big for us to win, lets just retreat and live to fight for another day!

[The three knights fights their way out of the encirclement and managed to escape]

Lu Bu[lubu] Yeah yeah, run with your tail behind your legs, cowards!
[Lu Bu, a large man with a halberd known as the Sky piercer. With his red hare(horse), he is a nearly invincible soldier. People often says, among men, Lu Bu, among horses, red hare]

~O-castle~
Zee[Obua]: Seems like we have ourself a visitor...
Jan[Obua]: Indeed...
[Outside O-castle, an army could be seen marching towards the castle, as Zee and Jan moves out of the castle with the obuanian army]
Zee/Jan[Obua]: Attack!
[The two army clashes head on]
???[???]: Don't falter, we can win them!
Jan[Obua]: Who are you and why are you attacking us?
???[???]: Subutai, from the Mongolian empire, we're here to take over this land!
Zee[Obua]: Take over this land? What the hell?
Subutai[Mongol]: Fools, you shall die, in the name of the great Genghis Khan!
Jan[Obua]: We shall see about that! Godmode, sword mode!
[Jan's white katana appears]
Jan[Obua]: The second hustle! Diamond dust!
[Nothing happens]
Jan[Obua]: What the hell?
Zee[Obua]: Seems that we lost some of our abilities after we come here...
Jan[Obua]: Damn... Whatever, this is enough for me! I challange you to a duel, Subutai, if you should win, we would surrender this castle, if you should lose, you will retreat, fair trade?
Subutai[Mongol]: Interesting! I never back down from a challange.
Jan[Obua]: Heh
Zee[Obua]: You sure you can win without your abilities?
Jan[Obua]: I hope so...

To be continued...

OoF Chapter 14 - The warp of time and space

It was an usual day at the O-hq, and the obuanians were bored to death as usual.

Ler: [Talking on phone] Good morning! I'm calling on behalf of the "Huat zai ye"...

Marc: [pccing to little boys porn as little girl porns are blocked by the MDA]

Jan: [Training Derrick] Eh derrick, strike harder, even a chicken can hit harder than you...

Zee: Wa, everyone got something to do... Only I dun have... Kena sai...

~Somewhere~
???: Heheheh... It should be about time! Time transport!

~Back in O-hq`
Jan: Is it me or did it suddenly got really hot?
Zee: No its not you, I feel it too...
Morphling: EHEHEHEEH!!! SIAO LIAO, quick come! something happened!
Jan: Shut up, we know you're trying to find witnesses for suiciding, it will not work...
Morphling: nooooooooooooooooo... just come out and take a look!

[The oof and omfgs went out to have a look]

Zee: Where... in the blue hell is this?
Marc: Looks... Ancient...
Jan: Yea...
Derrick: Why are we here?
Zee: The question you should ask is... How the hell did we get here in the first place....
Derrick: Ok... lemme check... -ma!

Peasent(lv1)
Mosquito(lv1)
Mosquito(lv1)
cow(lv1)
....

Ler: kns la quickly -clear, or sure flood, we know theres a peasent already....
Derrick: okok, -clear!
Marc: Er, i tired ahs, i stay in the hq...
Ler: me too...
Morphling: I'll.... emo in the hq...
Waimen: Too hot for me...
Derrick: Er... I stomach ache...
Jan: Sigh... Looks like we two will be going huhs?
Zee: Agree...

[Jan and zee looked around and saw a indian farmer]
Jan: Hey there, where are we?
Farmer: 你在说什么?
Jan/Zee: !?!?!?!?!?????
Jan: 你不是印度人吗？
Farmer: 我是啊，但我是在这儿成长的.
Zee: 请问这是哪里？
Farmer: 中国啊
Jan/Zee: !?!?!?!?!? [WTF IS AN INDIAN DOING HERE!?]
Jan: 谢谢

[Jan and zee left and went back to the HQ, which suddenly appeared to be a castle now]

Jan: What the hell happened here?
Derrick: Don't know... suddenly this place become a castle...

~In another part of china~
Fluffytiger: Where the hell are we? This is china isn't it? Thats the great wall of china!
Teitei: indeed... I wonder...

~In yet another part of china~
glbin: fuck, what the fuck we doing here? This is china no? The towns near here seems like it...

hoppingmushroom: yea... wtf sia...

~back in o-hq~
Derrick: Special command, -time!
-time: The date now is [Error, 3 less than year 1000 era input], time, [error, less than year 1000 era input], cannot figure out the timing...
Derrick: apparently we have travelled through time as well, like to around a few hundred AD(s)
Marc; Interestinggggggg.....

What has happened? Why is the oof story transported back in time into the early hundreds era? catch next chapter!

Soccer chapter 6, Singapore's first match in the group stages.

News: The match will be beginning and here are the lineups...

Singapore's Lineup




















Seems like 34 year old striker Noh Alam Shah will be starting this match in Ler's place.

Ukraine's Lineup


The two rebrovs seem to be starting... this could be interesting...

Royston Richards(Commentary A): And its at Curitiba's Arena da Baixada stadium, with a 41375 capacity crowd, and the match between singapore and Ukraine is beginning. How do you see this match, John?

John Ramos(Commentary B): Its is indeed an interesting match between these two teams, Singapore has entered the world cup for the very first time, I think they would try their best to stay in the competition, but Ukraine is a veteran in the World cup, with lots of experience, I would like to see how this turns out.

0' The game kicks off, and Ukraine will be starting this match.

3' [Voronin: ці сінґапореан ідіот особи йдучи униз!][Translation: These singaporean idiots are going down!] Voronin dribbles brilliantly, and does a through pass to Andriy Rebrov! Marc goes for the sliding tackle, but he mis-timed it, and its a penalty!

4' 4 minutes into the game, and its already been a penalty, what a bad start for Singapore, and Marc is handed a Yellow card. Voronin steps back, runs forward and takes the penalty! Jan managed to deflect it! What a save, but Andriy Rebrov with the poaching shot and even thou Jan managed to slightly make contact with the ball with his leg, it went into the bars, its a goalllllll!!!!!!!!!!!

Ukraine 1-0 Singapore
(4' Andriy Rebrov)

9' [Zee: Hmm, Waiman and Derrick are both marked... Alam Shah is open... but I don't really trust him... damn... what should I do?] Zee hesitated a little with the ball and starts dribbling on his own forward. He got pass 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 players! Could this be a repeat of Maradona's greatest goal? No, he makes a pass to the side and Amri with the shot! Shovkovski does well to parry that, but waiman catches the rebound, he fakes a shot and passes to derrick, and its a shot by derrick! Goalllllllllllllllllllllll!!! What teamwork played by the Singaporean team!

Ukraine 1-1 Singapore
(4' Andriy rebrov - 9'Derrick)

29' Zee with a long pass over to the side of the penalty box, its waiman! He shoots! What a miss...

31' Seems like Singapore is still in control of the flow of the game, As Zee does a 1-2 with hariss harun, and a pin point pass to waiman again, this time waiman crosses in, and a desprate diving header by alam shah! Oh, too bad he managed to miss that one, it would be a nice goal if he scored.

42' Ukraine managed to seize the flow of the game suddenly and voronin playing a passing game with Andriy Rebrov, and a shot by Voronin! Jan managed to save that easily.

45+4' The whistle blows for half-time, what an exciting first half we've seen, but it seems like Singapore must do better after halftime to secure the 3 points.

~Halftime teamtalk~
~Singapore locker room~
Avramovic: Team, we can do this, we just need one goal, it'll be enough. Islam halim will be subbing for Hariss harun at the DMF position, now go go, win our first group stage game!
Singapore team: Yes!

Royston: It has been an exciting first half, hopefully the second one would be better.

John: Yea, and the teams are getting into position, and it'll be singapore who will be starting...

46' The game kicks off, Waiman passes to Zee, and Zee does a backpass... its marc! He does a long shot from behind the halfcourt line, oh, sadly its parried by the ukraine keeper, but its alam shah that claims the lose ball and he shoots! Its a goalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!

Ukraine 1-2 Singapore
(4' A.Rebrov - 9' Derrick, 46' Alam Shah)

47' Ukraine kicks off, tackled almost immediately by Zee, and Singapore gains the flow again...

65' Waiman with the early cross, and derrick rushes to receive ball, he does a long shot! Goallllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!! Hold on, its not a goal, but an offside! That was sad, it was such a nice shot....

69' Waiman attacking from the right side as usual, a curving cross to outside the middle of the penalty box, Zee receives it, and its a volley from outside the penalty! he aims it at the top right hand corner and its a goalllll! What a shot!

Ukraine 1-3 Singapore
(4' A.Rebrov - 9' Derrick, 46' Alam Shah, 69' Zee)

88' Its Voronin, he dribbles in, passes over to A.Rebrov, and rebrov with the shot! But it goes wide... If he could aim better, it would have been a nice goal.

90+4' Zee with the corner kick. He crosses out, and its... Jan!? With the long shot! What a shot, but its saved by the keeper, the keeper kicks over the ball to the center of the field and its the whistle for full time.

The ending result- Ukraine 1-3 Singapore. Quite an unexpected result, and a happy result for Singapore. The Ukrainian manager must be wondering why he lost.

On the other side, Portugal v Sweden

The score Portugal 4-3 Sweden
(15', 29' C.ronaldo, 88' Miguel Costa, 90' Miguel Veloso - 30', 60', 90' Ibrahimovic

The portugese managed to score a victory against Sweden.

Now the Standings are as follows.
1-Singapore Pts:3, W:1, L:0, D:0, GS:3, GA:1, GD:2
2-Portugal Pts:3, W:1, L:0, D:0, GS:4, GA:3, GD:1
3-Sweden Pts:0, W:0, L:1, D:0, GS:3, GA:4, GD:-1
4-Ukraine Pts:0, W:0, L:1, D:0, GS:1, GA:3, GD:-2

Next fixtures: Singapore vs Sweden, Portugal vs Ukraine

To be continued...

Soccer- Chapter 5

Last chapter, Singapore qualified for the 2014 world cup surprisingly, with a 2-1 victory over Iran. Every soccer player in Singapore were overjoyed and also, shocked as no one expected them to qualify, so in Group B, S. Korea and Singapore managed to advance to the group stages, while from Group A, Japan and Korea DPR managed to qualify, which everyone was surprised that the favorites - Australia got eliminated.

32 teams from all over the world qualified for this event, and among all, Singapore was the only team which qualified for the first time. Spain, Brazil and England were the favorites to win this year's world cup, but the dark horses, Germany, argentina and a few others still poses a threat.

Argentina, with their 18 year old skipper, Carlos Alvaro, who is playing for Madrid, and the 20 year old Diego Maraldo, nicknamed "arm of god", a prodigal keeper who is currently playing for Lazio, may prove to be a threat as they used to have problems with their defence.

Italy, after the international retirement of many of their star players, like Di Natale, Pirlo, Camoranesi, Gattuso and a few more, still mantained their standard through rising stars like Andreas Gotti, 21 year old striker currently playing in Napoli, who scored 19 goals in the last season, and Antonio Gentile, 19 year old "Giant Wall", standing at 6'4, this Ac Milan defender was a threat in the air, and is really fast and agile despite his size.

The Koreans may pack a surprise due to their 20 year old "midfield magician", Lee Khwan-Yiu, currently playing for Tottenham, whom surprisingly took over Luka Modric's position with ease after Modric left Tottenham for Fulham.

Of course, the Germans have their own surprises with 22 year old explosive striker, Karl-Heinz Matthaus, nicknamed "The Human Cannon" due to his impressive long shots playing for Inter Milan, as well as 21 year old "Midfield General", Jurgen Hitler, the master in controlling the midfield, playing for Bayern Munich.

Russian's defence also have been fortified with the likes of 23 year old sweeper, Vladimir Stalin and 21 year old left back, Aleksei Lenin, both playing for Zenit Saint Petersburg.

Of course, we must not overlook the newcomers, Singapore, that managed to overcome a 1-0 defeat to a 2-1 victory over the Iranians, and only with 10 men as their Explosive striker, Ler, got sent off just after halftime. The 24 year old "SGGGK", Jan, playing for Liverpool, was on brilliant form that day, making many miraculous saves, totally living up to his name as the "SGGGK", guardian deity between the two poles. Other than Jan, a few players to look upon would be Manchester United's 22 year old "flamboyant winger", Waiman, Juventus's 24 year old "Creative winger", Derrick, Barcelona's 22 year old "Control tower" Zee, and 22 year old "Master of mistakes and half court shorts" defender, Marc.

The groups are as follows

Group A
Brazil
Ecuador
Switzerland
Houndorus

Group B
Germany
South Korea
Poland
USA

Group C
England
Japan
Ivory Coast
Chile

Group D
France
Denmark
Slovakia
DPR Korea

Group E
Argentina
Cameroon
Netherlands
Serbia

Group F
Spain
Ghana
Ukraine
Paraguay

Group G
Mexico
South Africa
Egypt
Czech Republic

Group H
Portugal
Sweden
Ukraine
Singapore

Singapore seems to be in a tricky group, along with Portugal, Sweden and Ukraine, will they manage to get through the group stages? This world cup seems intersting.

First match for Singapore in Group stages(H) - Singapore vs Ukraine
Favorites: Ukraine
Richard Goodman(Soccer tipster): this match is an interesting match. Ukraine's ability has diminished throughout these years ever since Shevchenko's retirement, but their recent call-up, a 23 year old composed striker playing for English top flight team, Wigan, Andriy Rebrov has been playing pretty well, scoring 4 goals in the qualifying rounds. Singapore's ability has been boost by the few new faces like Jan(Liverpool), Zee(Barca), Derrick(Juventus), Waiman(Manutd), Marc(Chelsea) and Ler(Mumbai FC). Unfortunately, ler has been banned from playing. If all goes well for Singapore, which also means Marc not scoring own goals, this match may be their's as Zee's ability to create goals and Jan's incredible goalkeeping could determine the outcome of the match, but theorically, I'd go for a draw, 1-1.

Group H other match - Portugal vs Sweden
Favorites: Portugal
Shawn McPhillips(Soccer Tipster): this is a good fixture. Portugal, with their ace, Cristiano Ronaldo(Real Madrid), and sweden with their 33 year old striker, Ibrahimovic(Barca). Portugal's young talents like Miguel Costa(19 year old Sporting CP attacking midfielder) and Ricardo Figo(20 year old Sporting CP right winger and corner specialist) may be featured in this match, as well as Sweden's Henrik Nordqvist(22 year old Lyon attacking midfielder and a extremely great dribbler). Portugal, with former player of the year, Cristiano Ronaldo should be able to get a win over Sweden. Portugal will win it, 2-0.

The two match has arrived, both in different stadiums in Brazil.

The singapore players has arrived at the stadium, where they would face Ukraine.......

To be continued

Obuaism Soccer - Side Story

*TV switches Off*

Kappa: ایرانیان موفق در دنیا !
Kusso: درموفق درموفقیرانیا

For the sake of non-iranian viewers, we will translate into english and continue on with english

Kappa: What the hell...kusso brother...how can we lose to Singapore? This is outrageous, ridiculous, atrocious, notorious, evil, bad, dumb, noob, l33t....ROAR!

Kusso: Don't be angry kappa brother...let us take revenge for our country against that dumb country...I have already prepared 62 trained suicide bombers...they are now swimming towards Singapore, they just reported that they just reached the China seas...

Oh no...looks like Singapore is in danger!...
At the China Seas....

Suicide Bomber #1 (SB1) : My brothers...its china....we reached china!
SB2: Aren't we suppose to be bombing this...sing a something place?
SB1: It gotta be china! Kusso brother say to bomb this chinese speaking place...
SB3: Er...excuse me...
SB1: Lets go....SB2!

Suicide bombers left...60...

Meanwhile...at Obuaism HQ...

Morphling: Hais...dammnit...Waiman just entered obuaism like...yesterday?...and he got to kick soccer!!...I go drown myself at the beach!

Morphling went to the beach...and started walking towards death...not far away, the 60 suicide bombers were on their way...

SB3: Er...excuse me...Brothers..I think this way is to Singapore!
SBall: Wee....Lets bomb!
SB3: wait wait wait...we suppose to bomb this place called...kallang sta..something...ah dammnit...lets just bomb wutever we see first...

Morphling: Hey you guys!
SBAll: !!!!?? (psst...someone spotted us...we are so dead...psst...its the coast guards!!...psst...where is my passport!!??)
Morphling: Are you all here to die too?....Lets die together...I very emo now...
SB3: Why don't you join us?...we are suicide bombers...you can die an honorable death!
Morphling: Ok!...give me the bomb!

So all the SB with morphling made their way to the stadium...where Singapore is still high celebrating their entry into the world cup finals!

Jan: Obua!!!!
Zee: Jin To kong!!!!
Derrick: Bo cheng sa
Marc: Hor gina kua...
Ler: Obua teng kor hor le kua
Waiman: Cock made sandwich hor le jia!!

Zee: Song bo!!...world cup finals leh!!
Marc: Yippee!!! TO brazil!!!!

Outside the stadium...
Morphling: Here is the stadium...where you all want to bomb...
SBall: Thanks morphling brother!

Derrick: Woah...some people so late...now then come...i -kickafk them ah...
Marc: Isn't that a member of our club?...mor...mor
Morphling: Its Morphling...Morphling...please notice my existence thank you!...I emo liao!
Jan: Wa you bring so many people to support us ah? Thanks man...
Morphling: Er...not really...
SBall: Lets rush in brothers! bomb them into crisps!!!
*Pop*....

SBall: !!!?? (psst...isnt it suppose to go Booms!?...I think i heard POP!....)
Morphling:....why didn't i die...

Back in Iran...
Kusso: Kappa brother...I made a mistake sending them swimming....
Kappa: why kusso brother?
Kusso: I gave them cheap bombs...not waterproff brother....

Back in Singapore
Zee: Thanks ah morphling...got firecracker somemore...hahahas....
Jan: Ya...you can be our cheerleader in the world cup finals!!!
Morphling:.....i emo liao...

SBAll: How do we go back......

Soccer - chapter 4

The OOF players were seperated after obua's retirement as a manager, but a few of them gathered again for the World Cup 2014.

World Cup 2014 Qualifiers

Asia Group A
Australia
Japan
Bahrain
Korea DPR
Uzbekistan

Asia Group B
South Korea
Iran
Saudi Arabia
UAE
Singapore


Singapore managed to get into the world cup with the call-up of the OOF players that're playing in the European stage.


~Singapore Home Stadium~
Radojko Avramovic(Manager): Alright team, we've finally gotten into the world cup, this time we must do our best to win it.
Singapore team: Yea!
Avramovic: Ok, this year, the World cup will be held in brazil, the kingdom of soccer. It'll be a glorious experience for all of you i assume, as you will be playing against stars from all over the world. It doesn't matter if you do not win, but as long as you have fun, thats all that matters, but that is, IF you managed to get past the qualifiers. We're in a tricky group, with south korea, iran and saudi arabia, but i hope you all can do your best to qualify. The lineup will be as followed.


1-GK- Lionel Lewis (Age: 32, Team: Birmingham[EPL])
2-CB/SB/SMF/CMF- Rosman Sulaiman (Age: 32, Team: Home United[S-League])
3-SB- Noh Rahman (Age: 34, Team: Sengkang punggol[S-League])
4-CB- Baihakki Khaizan (Age: 30, Team: Perisja Jakata[Indonesia Super League)
5-SB- Shaiful Esah (Age: 28, Team: SAFFC[S-league])
6-DMF- Mustafic Fahrudin (Age: 33, Team: Persija Jakata[Indonesia Super League])
7-CMF/WF/ST- Shahirl Ishak (Age: 30, Team: Hull City[ECC])
8-CMF- Hariss Harun (Age: 24, Team: Manchester United[EPL])
9-ST- Noh Alam Shah (Age: 34, Team: Zaragoza[Spanish Liga]
10-ST- Indra Sahdan Daud (Age: 35, Team: Real Salt Lake[MLS])
11-ST- Khairul Amri (Age: 28, Team: Tampines Rovers[S-league])
12-CMF- Shi Jiayi (Age: 31, Team: Home United[S-league])
13-SMF/WF- Derrick (Age: 24, Team: Juventus[Serie A])
14-CB/WF/ST-Waiman (Age: 22, Team: Manchester United[EPL])
15-CB/DMF- Marc (Age: 22, Team: Chelsea[EPL])
16-CB/CMF/ST- Muhammad Ridhuan (Age: 30, Team: Arema Malang[Indonesia Super league])
17-CB- Daniel Bannett (Age: 36, Team: SAFFC[S-League])
18-ST-Ler (Age: 22, Team: Mumbai FC[I-League])
19- GK- Hassan Sunny (Age: 30, Team: Wigan Atlethic[EPL])
20- GK- Jan (Age:24, Team: Liverpool FC[EPL])
21- CMF/AMF- Zee (Age: 22, Team: Barcelona FC[Spanish Liga])
22-DMF- Isa Halim (Age: 28, Team: Home United[S-League])
23-ST- Aleksandar Đurić (Age: 43, Team: SAFFC[S-League])


Avranovic: As you can see from the lineup, the standard of singapore soccer has improved over the years, as many of our players are already playing in the european leagues. We may stand a chance to qualify this year.


And so, the qualifiers begin


~Group B~
South Korea
Iran
Saudi Arabia
UAE
Singapore


~The last match~


News: Now, The rankings of the AFC Group B is as follows.


1st- South Korea, pts: 20
2nd- Iran, pts: 13
3rd- Singapore, pts: 12
4th- Saudi Arabia, pts: 5
5th- UAE, pts 2


And the last match of the AFC group B will begin in 15 minutes time, Iran vs Singapore. If Iran wins this, they're in to the World cup, but if they should lose, Singapore would qualify for the world cup for the very first time.


Singapore Lineup



As we can see, the few youngsters that're playing in the European leagues will be playing this match, will it help Singapore to qualify?

Players to watch: Waiman, Zee, Derrick

Iranian Lineup


The Iranian are playing the 28 year old playmaker, Ali Karimi in the middle, as usual. This playmaker has been a great player in the Italian shirt, Sampdoria the past 2 years.

Players to watch: Kaabi, Karimi, Hashemian

And the match begins.

5' The flow of the game seems to be along with the Iranians, as they are attacking ferociously. Kaabi lobs a nice cross over to Hashemian, and he shoots! oh, that went inches wide.

18' [Marc: Damn, if this goes on, we might draw and end up not qualifying...] Marc dashes towards the front and intercepts a pass from Karimi to Hashemian and shoots from half court. [Minzapour: As if that would score!] What a nice acrobatic save by Minzapour, but he only managed to fist it, leading to a corner.

19' [Zee: This corner is crucial... Lets see...] Zee fires off the corner, drifting it outside where waiman receives it. [Waiman: Urahhhhhhh! Bullet shot!] he fires a powerful long shot from outside the penalty, but sad for him, what a nice save from Minzapour.

36' The Iranians seems to have control of the game at the moment, attack after attack, but Jan's superb goalkeeping abilities denied them again and again. He's not known as the SGGGK for nothing i guess? (SGGGK= Sg-Singapore GGK-greatest goalkeeper)

45+3' Halftime will be approaching, and its a corner kick to the Iranians. Karimi with the corner, drifts it in, a header by Hashemian, a nice dive by Jan, but he only managed to deflect it, oh no, it has just hit Marc's head and its an own goal! Goallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!

Iran 1-0 Singapore
(Marc O.G)

45+4' The whistle blows for halftime, what an exciting first half we have, and the Iranians are currently in the lead due to a error by Marc, but Jen's superb performance was something to see.

~In the squad room~

Jan: Fuck you la marc, everyday only score own goal, kao eh...
Marc: Sorry lah, not I want one what....
Zee: okok, nevermind la, a goal only, still got the second half, still can win de...
Jan: Sua la...

46' And the second half begins, with Singapore starting the ball.

49' Singapore with a chance! Ler, getting a nice pass from Zee, takes a shot from inside the area! Goal! Uh hold on, the assistant refree has his flag up, its an offside.

56' Oh, what a sliding tackle to Ler that was by Rezaei, Ler gets up on his own, but what is he doing? Oh my god, he just gave Rezaei a punch to the face, and Rezaei falls. He starts to kick rezaei in the stomach on the ground but the other singapore players are trying to stop him! The refree comes over, and its a red card! Its an obvious decision, wha-? Ler is trying to attack the refree, but the Singaporean players dragged him out of the field. That was unwise, I bet the singapore team would be disqualified if he evers attacked the refree. [Zee: Damn, siao liao, 10 players liao...][Derrick: ya... how sia...][Zee: Nevermind, its a freekick from outside the area, I'll lob it over the wall and I'll leave it to you ahs][Derrick: Ok, sure!]

57' A free kick by Zee, he lobs the ball over the wall, and its derrick coming in from the side of the wall! He does a flying volley and its a goallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll! What a magnificent shot!

Iran 1-1 Singapore
(45+3' Marc o.g - 57' Derrick)

63' The flow of the game has returned to the iranians, but Jan puts down their attack as usual with his miracle saves.

84' [Zee: Time is almost up... We can't afford to draw this.. Must win...] Zee roams around out of position. I guess he had to do that as there is just 6 minutes plus injury time left in the clock...

89' Zee with his magical dribble, a magnificent 1-2 pass with derrick, and he shoots! But the iranian keeper managed to deflect it, its waiman coming in from the side, its another shot! Goallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, the ball blasted through the net with a full force bullet shot from waiman! What a dramatic goal!

Iran 1-2 Singapore
(45+3' Marc O.G - 57' Derrick, 89' Waiman)

90+6' Its nearing the end of the game, and the Iranians is launching their final attack, what a nice through pass by Karimi to Hashemian, it totally caught marc off guard! Hashemian with a strong shot, deflected by Jan, Karimi receives the loose ball, and makes another shot, what an acrobatic save by Jan, but the ball is still in play! Teymourian does a long shot, but yet again, Jan managed to save it, but it was tipped over the bar, leading to a corner.

90+7' The final corner of the match. Karimi fires the corner, Marc with a nice defence and clears the ball with all his might. Hold on, this power in his shot... It might go into the opponent goal post! Holy! Its going in! Mirzapour can't get back in time! Its landing! Its a go- [Refree: Pwreeet pwreet pwreetttttttttt (Wahahaha, not gonna let you score) Oh thats the full time whistle, what a goal that might have been. [Marc: JIBAI LA!!!!! MY GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, FUCK YOU REFREE!!!!!]

Statistics
Man of the match: Jan (9.5/10), Has been a superb gatekeeper for the singapore team, making many great saves.
Notable mentions: Zee (8.5/10), Created the equalizing goal and had some great plays every now and then. His shot also lead to the 2nd goal, which was poached by waiman.
Derrick (8.0/10), scored the equalizing goal for Singapore.
Waiman (8.0/10), Poached the winning goal for singapore
Karimi(8.0/10), made many good plays for Iran

Flop of the match: Ler (2.5/10), did nothing worthwhile for the team this match and got aggressive after a sliding tackle and got himself sent off.


News: Singapore has done it! They had qualified for the fifa World cup! What a feat! Its the first time they've ever qualified for the world cup since they entered during 1976. With this talented squad, how far will the Singapore football team go?

Fifa News: Ler, due to his violent behaviour, has been banned from international and club soccer for 8 months.

How will singapore manage to cope without their striker?
To be continued.

Obua - Boii United Alliance - Finale

Obua-ians finally arrived...the turn of tides...or not?...

Jan: Ehhhh hold it right there!!
Lao Tai Po: Who the hell are you!?
Jan: Ehhh *cough*...I am known as Obua, the leader of Obuaism (psst...i cant ehh that well..)
Lao Lai Zi: Zo e iz zat famos obuaz..(So he is that famous obua..)
Lao Kok Kok: What hope can a single mere warrior do...against us five veterans...
Jan: Ehhh we shall see..

The five leaders of CLK forces surrounds Jan...ready for attack...

At the backdoor....

Derrick: I think Jan succeed in luring those old faggots...lets go in and wipe those CLK asses!
Fluffytiger: The problem is with the CPF...they are rushing like mad dogs...
Derrick: hehe...we let those CPF go down the drain...

A trap triggered, CPF forces fell into a pitfall trap...
CPF raider: Spare us...
Marc: We will spare you if you join our ranks...
CPF raider: AYE!

At Jan's side...
Jan: Argh...huff...huff...
Lao Tai Po: How can you be able to defeat five of us...prepare to die!..

Jan is outnumbered by the five leaders...but he still have a secret plan up his sleeve...
Jan: Godmode...Senile Slayer!
[Senile Slayer]
Jan gains enormous power against enemies 60 years and above...

Within minutes...Lao kok kok, lao bu si, lao lai zi and lao jibai was defeated....
Lao Tai Po: What power...is this your true strength!?
Jan: Meet your doom old hag!
Jan slams his fist hard into the face of Lao Tai Po...

......
Jan: What!? It did not even leave a scratch...
Lao Tai Po: Its like ant bite...hahas...
Jan: It is impossible...such power....what are you...
Lao Tai Po: I am....
Jan: .....
Lao Tai Po: I am...
Jan: ....
Lao Tai Po: 59....
Jan: =.=....

Derrick and Marc got the support of the CPF and saved the boii-ians who are under seige...the remaining CLK forces retreated to reorganise their troops...

Obua-ian: Report...Lord Jan was defeated...but he took out four leaders of the CLK...
Marc: Imposhibible...
Derrick: How is he?...dead?
Obua-ian: Here is a letter from Lao Tai Po...

[Letter]
Chao jibye...this lanjiao kia kannina kill all my ka kis...now I no more ka kis to play chup li kis with...I am going to make him into my slave and play chup li ki 24-7-365!!!! If you want him back...win me in chup li ki...

Marc: Whuaaat?
Derrick: I don't know how play wor....how?...
???: Its time for me to return the favor....
Derrick and Marc: Boooiii~~~???

At the CLK Camp...
Jan: Spare me please!!!!
Lao Tai Po: Its only the 10001th round and you are tired? Weakling...
Jan: I see these cards i wan puke le...
Lao Tai Po: Fuck you...u like won almost half of my entire fortune le...now want zao?...I don't care I wan appeal!
Jan: Wa...see i won again...sien sia...eh fuck this smell....

Boii: Boiii~...I have come to save u....
Jan: Eh don't kaypo hor boii~...I winning like siao...
Lao Tai Po: KNN...
Lao Tai Po got angry and attacks Jan...
Time: 11:59pm...

Jan...still in his senileslayer mode....know he is unable to harm Lao tai po...
Jan: I cannot hurt her...in this mode...she is 59...
Boii: Boii~ I only agree to help you win her in Chup Li Ki....
Jan: ....

Lao Tai Po...jumped up and fire magical blasts at Jan...who dodged skillfully. Jan did multiple strikes on her but did minimal damage...

Lao Tai Po: Meet your doom!!!
Jan: Dammnit....my full power!!!
Time: 12:00am...
Jan did a super punch on Lao Tai Po...miraculously...it did alot of damage....

Lao Tai Po: Shiit...huff huff...today is my birthday!!!

With that...the CLK forces disbanded with the death of their leaders....and peace? returns to the land...

Back at HQ....
Jan: So lord Obua...you only left underwear wor...still want play?...
Obua: DIE JAN..DIE!!!!

END...

The OOF story weapons- Chapter 1

Well, after 13 chapters, there're many warriors in this story. Many of their weapons has been revealed, but many has not yet. Now, occasionally i'll make a post of this, to show how their weapons look like... So now, starting from the Boii-clan.

~Fluffytiger~

Fluffy tiger's dual axes.

~Joe-Seth~

Joe-Seth's Giant blade, also known as a zweihander.

~Teitei~("Spoilers")

Teitei's weapon- Chinese sabre("spoilers")

~NYL army~

Hopping mushroom("Spoilers")

Hopping mushroom's weapon- Battle mace("Spoilers")

G.g.d("Spoilers")

G.g.d's Weapon- Katar

This will be all for now
~z

OoF chapter 13 - The new allies.

It was a day after the decisive battle, and the 2 obuanian leaders were discussing a little about state matters...

Jan: Eh Zee, so do you think we have that problem?
Zee: Yea... we really need more generals, just with we, the oof and the 2 guys in the omfg would not be enough if they really gank us again...
Jan: I guess we ought to go search for a few new allies...
Zee: Humbly agree...

And Zee and Jan went different ways to look for new allies, and leaving the O-hq's defence to the others.

Jan: I wonder if leaving the defence to the 2 bums who are not serious about anything a good idea...

And so, Zee, hearing that there was a warrior of great poweress to the north of the o-hq, the kranji war memorial, went to there to look for this warrior.

Upon reaching the War memorial, he sees that the memorial has became more of a citidel rather than a memorial as the neutral forces- the holymen previously lead by joe-seth set their camp here before they were routed and recruited into the boii-ians. In front of him, stands a tall man in a suit of armour, with a longsword on his hand. His presence strikes fear into anyone that sees him, and overcoming the fear easily, Zee walks slowly towards him.

???: You shall not pass! (note, i did not rip off anything from any movie like lotr or something for this chapter)
Zee: I do not wish to pass
???: What are you here for then?
Zee: I've heard of a master swordsman around this area, mayhap you might have heard of him?
???: Why have you come to look for him?
Zee: I wish to request him to join my forces, as we are in need of talents like him.
???: I see, then let me test your skill weather if you're worthy of my help!
Zee: En garde!
???: After you.

[The mysterious warrior pulls out his long sword, and a dark aura forms around the blade of the sword. On the other hand, Zee, today, is using dual blades]

Zee: *huff* Not bad you are, you're actually keeping up with the dance of death of the dual blades.
???: Heh, you're not bad yourself, you can actually keep up with my speed.

[After 2 hours of a friendly battle, no victors emerged yet]

???: This is enough.
Zee: Huh?
???: I accept your offer to join your army.
Zee: thats great! but first, i gotta catch your name.
???: I'm known as Waimen
Zee: They often know me as Zee, nice to meet you, waimen
Waimen: An honor to fight alongside you.

[And thus, Waimen joined the obuaism army]

Meanwhile, on the other side, Jan could not find anyone but got himself caught in a war between two neutral forces- manufans and liverpoolfans. As manufans are winning the battle with 30000 men and liverpoolfans with 300 men, Jan intended to help the liverpoolfans just for the sake of killing.

Jan: My men, ready your breakfast and eat hearty, for tonight we may dine in Hell...
liverpoolfans: Milord, we'll convert over to obua-ians!
Jan: Great, obua-ians, a new age has come, an age of freedom, and we know that 300 obua-ians give their lives to defend it! This is where we hold them! This is where we FIGHT! This is where they DIE! Give them nothing, but take from them everything! No retreat, no surrender. That is obua-ian law. And by obua-ian law we will stand and fight, and die! Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time!

Manufan leader, Alan faggotson: Heh, you think you can win us with just those 300 weak soldiers? Let me give you 3 choices, fool, you can either retreat, surrender, or die.

Jan: Thats an easy question, faggot-son. We obua-ians never retreat, we obua-ians never surrender, now charge my warriors, let them taste cold hard steel!

Alan faggotson: Heh, what a fool, people treat you quiet wine you don't drink, want to drink punishment wine, then you shall die now, fool!

Jan: Sorry, i only drink beer, not wine, so now, you shall die rather than I do, Godmode- staff of lightning, judgement bolt!

[Jan jumps up high into the sky, and a staff appears in his hand. With all his might, he throws the staff down to the middle of the manufans army, and a crazy amount of lightning zaps the ground with immense power, and instantly frying every soldier in the manufans army]

Jan: *Huff huff*... that was one of my strongest attacks, takes up too much of my energy.... *huff* Should use that skill less often from now i guess...

And jan managed to bring victory to the liverpoolfans.

~Back at O-hq~
Zee: Introducing our newest warrior, Waimen.
Waimen: Yo sup guys
Jan: You lucky lor, can find a warrior, i only managed to recruit 300 useless soldiers....
Zee: nevermind la...
Marc: [reading fpm]
Ler: [Playing psp]
Derrick: Welcome back!
Jan/Zee: Thanks.
Derrick: we have a little situation... Morphling is attempting suicide again...
Zee: not again....

~And thus, was another boring day in the obuaism hq~

Obua - Boii United Alliance - Part B

clk forces, a force to be feared, a force which drove boii-ians to the verge of defeat in mere days. The 5 leaders, Lao Tai Po, Lao bu si, Lao kok kok, Lao lai zi and lao jibai are strong veterans in battle.

At this moment, the boii-ians HQ is under seige by the attacking CLK forces...
CLK forces: 100 000
Boii forces: 300 (coincidence)

Boii: looks like we in deep shit...boii~~
Boii-ian: We will fight for our master!! THIS IS BOII-IANS!!!! (coincidence)
Boii-ian: General Fluffytiger is nowhere to be seen, and our scouts report that the obua-ians are organising their troops for an attack.
Boii: CLK in the front...obua-ians coming soon...we are doomed...boii~~

Meanwhile..
Jan: I don't know what lord obua is thinking, sending us to help boii-ians...
Fluffytiger: I guess we owe him one...
Marc: Just me and Jan, and 1000 troops....scouts reported that only 300 elite troops left at boii's side...
Jan: don't worry, but you forgot about derrick...
derrick: As long as I am here...no problem lah...

Estimated arrival time....1 hour...

Boii-ian: Our main gate is breached!...they are swarming in like ants!
Boii: Release the floodgates, all units retreated to level 2!...flood them like Boiiiiiiiss

The floodgates were released, a huge wave of water flooded the 1st level of boii-ian HQ.
Lao Bu Si: hehehe *cough* hahaha *cough*...water...
Lao kok kok: so....they....still....can...put...up...some....fight.....
Lao Lai zi: Puipear ze kanons! (Prepare the cannons)

Boii-ians are taking heavy damage from enemy cannons...
Boii forces left: 247
CLK forces left: 97410

Estimated arrival time for Obua-ians...20 minutes!

Boii-ian: Urgent message from General Fluffytiger! Obua-ians are coming to aid us in 20 minutes...
Boii: Is that so...boii~....Strengthen defences...hold for 20 minutes more!
Boii-ians: AYE!!! (coincidence)

Meanwhile..
Jan: So derrick, what great plan do you have?
Derrick: Great plan of course cannot divudge la...
Marc: So secretive for what...
Fluffytiger: Great plan...must be better than just setting fire to their camps or something..
Derrick: EH!?
Jan: Why do you have the "You know my plan!?" expression on your face??

Estimated arrival time...5 minutes..

Lao Tai Po: Get our Cavalier Pierce Forces (CPF) to rush in!
The CPF are a strong cavalier troop who can penetrate all sort of defence and it would easily crush boii-ians meagre defences...they are in trouble...

Lao Tai Po: Chiong ah!! CPF!!!!
Jan: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!!!!

Obua-ians arrived!!!!...To be continued in final part...

Emo Crisis
Chapter 1

In a small little hut at Bukit Batok lies many things. A swiss knife, a lot of panadol tablets, ropes hanging on the roof, gas on 24-7-365, bathtub full of water, electric chair...and finally a little man who had no hopes in life.

Little man: I gonna sms this girl I met on the net....
[morphling]
Hi, Joanne, morphling here, how are you? Free to talk?

1 minute later...
Morphling: Maybe she is busy?....I will wait patiently for her reply...

1 minute 3 seconds later
Morphling: She must hate me!...Argghhhh why!?!!!!

He took the swiss knife and started slashing his wrists...

1 minute 10 seconds later
Morphling: there is no more hope, I will never get a girlfriend....

He took 666 panadol tablets...

1 minute 15 seconds later...on the electric chair
Morphling: There is no place for me in this world...

1 minute 20 seconds later...hanging on the rope
Morphling: Bye mom...bye dad...I am leaving this world...

1 minute 22 seconds later...
[Joanne]
Sorry I was in the toilet...ah...what sup?

Suicide attempt #3694...failed...