OoF chapters will take a break for now... Due to my examinations...

But today, for fun, i'll update the legend of the oof players, but due to some changes in the storyline, it'll be renamed as just "soccer"

Soccer - Chapter 3

During the season at liverpool, obua managed to win their first EPL in 18 years, and thus, named a legend. Many of Liverpool's fans expected obua to stay in Liverpool but he left after that year, and joined the FIFA association.

The 5 key players in liverpool which brought home the EPL trophy also decided to leave Liverpool as non of them are bound by any contracts and their leader, obua has left.

Zee: Hmm, so what now? Which team you guys intending to join?
Marc: not sure... I think maybe I'll join Wigan, since i got an offer from them...
Derrick: I'll stay in liverpool ba i think... Zee, you?
Zee: I've received offers from Realmadrid, Barcelona, Acmilan, Zenit st petersburg and Manchester city... But i think i'll be going to barcelona i guess, since its the team of my dreams.
Jan: Wa, you good sia can go til barcelona, I'll still stay in liverpool with, they're paying me alot...
Ler, you lei?
Ler: Wahahahahahaa, due to my immense genius, i thought of a team to go, I'll be going to play in the I league in india, so i can own some bangalas! I'm joining mumbai fc! wahahahahahaha

Jan/Zee/Marc/Derrick: .... -_-'''

So, except for jan and derrick, the others went on seperate ways, with ler joining Mumbai fc of the I-league, Marc joining wigan and zee joining barcelona.

~India-Mumbai FC training ground~

Ler: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... I forgot i have to play with these bangalas tooooooooooooo.... *sobs*... can i leave?
Henry Menezes(Manager of Mumbai FC): Sorlie, you, my frilend, iz bouneded by contract.
Ler: Noooooooooooooooooooooo

Mumbai FC line up

GK- Ahmit singha roy
DF- anas edathodika
DF- John benedict
df- keegan pereria
dmf-noel anthony wilson
cmf-nelson cardoz
cmf-M Pradeep
amf-hiralal chetri
amf-gautam debnath
cf- ler
cf- abhishek yadav

~Liverpool~

Rafa Benitez: I'll back i guess, as manager as most of you know me, but i promise to keep up what obua has done and bring us to the top!
Lfc: WOOO!

Lineup(lazy type)

~Barcelona~

Guardiola: Today, i present our newest signing, the control tower of liverpool fc last year, Zee!
Zee: Yea...
Guardiola: So well, we have not thought of a number for you, what number would you like to have?
Zee: Zero...
Guardiola: is it... possible? Hold on, i'll call fifa to check...

~Wigan's pre-season fixture vs real madrid, home~
GK-Kirkland
LB-Boyce
CB-Marc
CB-Titus bramble
RB-Melchoit
DMF-Scharner
CMF-Kapo
LMF-N'Zogbia
RMF- Koumas
CF-Rodallega
CF-Scott sinclair

vs

-Madrid-
GK-Casillas
LB-Marcelo
CB-Pepe
CB-Ramos
RB-Albiol
CMF-Alonso
LMF- Drenthe
RMF- Cronaldo
AMF-Kaka
CF- Benzema
CF- Glbin(new signing)

It was a really epic battle, which real madrid won, 2-1.

the goal highlights...

Wigan 1-0 Real madrid

8' Marc dashes to the midfield and scores a scorching half court shot!

Wigan 1-1 Real Madrid

56' Bramble with the sliding tackle on Benzema, the ball flys, it hits marc's head and its an own goal by marc!

Wigan 1-2 Real madrid

90+2' Marc with the clearance, it hits bramble, who's just coming over and it went in! Its an own goal for bramble!....

Commentary: Its the most interesting match i've seen, many will thought wigan has made a good choice buying marc, but it seems that a new calamitous duo has been sighted again in the EPL!

Wigan fans: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

~

Typical Day of OOF
OIE - Obuaism Institute of Education

In the O-hq, on the surface is all fun and enjoyment, members party all day and all night with one another cracking jokes on boii-ians or nyl-ians. However, they do go to school. The OIE is a place where every obuaism member would spend a few hours a day studying, so as to gain the knowledge needed for the world. The oofs were no exception.

Mr.Angulis: I am going to return your essays on "my ambition". The "best" 3 essays would be pinned on the board for exhibition. Hehehehehehehehehe

On the board
1.
Name: Jan
[My ambition]

My ambition is to have an ambition. For 19 years of my life, I have never had an ambition, thus I made it my ambition to have an ambition. Apart from "some people" who want to be superman or super saiyan, I found my life meaningless without an ambition. I always wondered how it feels to have an ambition, and now I feel really glad I have an ambition, which is to have an ambition. I will work hard towards this ambition of mine and show the others I would have an ambition one day, and this is my ambition.

Your ambition is the "greatest", how about thinking with your head and not with your ass sometimes? Signed: Mr.Angulis

2.
Name: Ler
[My Ambition...maybe not...maybe yes]

I have to rush this essay out because I spend 90% of the time playing my pxp. Pxp is a game console which I use to pass time. Currently I am playing Innocent Gear and Disgaebua 2, not to mention my favorite Warriors Obuachi 2. Ok I have decided that my ambition is to beat all these games and unlock every secret and train everyone to max level. Yes I will do it, and since I have time I will start working towards my ambition right away! Bye!

Do not go deciding on your ambition on the spot! Other than that, I am speechless. Signed: Mr.Angulis

3.
Name: Marc
[My ambition]

Soft skin, small perfect tits, cherry lips. These features will make any grown man drool at the sight. This imperfect development is the dream paradise of man, sweeter than any grown lady can offer. The soft grip when you carass the developing breasts, the sweet innocent juice from the forbidden hole will make me....

I guess you yourself could not take it anymore and when to pleasure yourself eh? Try finishing your essay before you get too horny next time. Signed: Mr Angulis

Mr Angulis: Alright class dismissed....

Chapter 12- The decisive war begins... and ends!? wtf?

So last chapter, in the O-hq, marc and ler were still in the war room, now they've been dragged out...

Jan: 好，现在我们准备打仗！
Zee: 我们一定要赢！ 否则将来会后悔！！
Obua-ian soldiers: OBUA!
Marc: 我们上！！！
Ler: 冲啊！！！
Derek: 他妈的！为什么突然变华语！？
Marc: 我也不知道！

[Writer: Time to switch back to english....]
Jan: Good, now we all prepare beat war
Zee: We all confirm must win, or when ginger comes we will regret!
Marc: We all up!!!
Ler: Bathe ah!!!!!!!
Derek: His mother one! why suddenly become chinese language?
Marc: I also don't know!

And so, the war has begun.... but suddenly, halfway while they're charging, the sky turns dark, and a ray of light shown down from the heavens.

Clan obua/clan nyl/boii army: what is this... light?

???: You guys have did enough harm to the land by creating this war, and your super powers has destroyed many things nature has created. Any more nonsense from you all will have to face the wrath of the heavens!

Fluffytiger: Who the hell are you?

???: Me? I'm the one known as 玉皇大帝， aka Jade emperor.
玉皇大帝: If you 3 fractions continue to fight, then prepare to face the wrath of the heavens!

Ler: Wrath of heavens? Who you think you are? Zhang jiao?
Marc: Eh wait, Jade emperor, ain't ya chinese? How come you know how speak ang moh?

玉皇大帝: I took classes when I was bored along these years... And yes, Actually Zhang jiao is my son, he's just trying to follow in the foot steps of jesus... Now, how do you guys say about ending this war?

glbin: I supposed we should pull back for now then... later i bad luck 10 years girls duwan me...

fluffytiger: i tomorrow exam... so don't wanna die so fast... must retreat i guess...

玉皇大帝: Good, now get out of this land before i get my army.

~~~

Jan: Why did you stop the war?

玉皇大帝: Obua told me to.

Marc: Who are you to obua?

玉皇大帝: We're just friends, god have friends to ya know?

Zee: Thanks for your help then.

玉皇大帝: Don't mention it, but I must say, I only owe obua this one favor, the next time we meet, I may not be on your side, so take care.

~~~

O-hq

Marc: Damn.. that was so damn anti-climax...
Ler: Go read your magazine la freaking pedo...
Marc: Diam la, go play your psp dun disturb me you geek
Ler: What you say!?
Morphling: Uh... yo sup...
Marc: WANT TO FIGHT IS IT!? COME LA! I PK YOU TIL YOU DIE!!
Ler: COME LA I TAKE MY GUN LANCE!
Morhpling: kns... why no one care about me... i emo liao la...

所以这样， 又是在“喔不啊”总部过的一天。

101th post...yay

Jen

Before this chapter is released, its our official 100th post annivesary! Thank you for those... erm, "ghost" viewers!



Oof, chapter 11- The beginning of the decisive battle...



~o-hq~

obpskuang: so are you ready for death, the legendary oof+derrick?

zee: you're an idiot...

obpskuang: what did you say!?

jan: he said you're an idiot, idiot....

obpskuang: how dare you call me an idiot, you shall die!

jan: hold on, you think, a normal guy like you stands a chance against the whole OOF+derrick?

obpskuang: hmm, you're right, well i guess we shall meet at the battle field, 1 v 5 isn't that fair either... muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha!

[obpskuang disappeared]

ler: how the fuck did he disappear just like that?

zee: i want to know too...

morphling: why isn't anyone caring about my life....?

jan: wth!?!?!?!? GHOST!!!!!!

morphling: shit you la, i'm human.... sua... you want me die so much... then let me die ba...

[morphling starts slashing his wrists]

jan: okokok, sorry sorry, don't die, we need you....



~o-hq war room~


















Jan: Well, this is the plan derrick got for us of how their units are placed as well as others, the lines should represent how th- hold on... somewhat the lines look weird...
Zee: Uh, Ya lor, they can straight away attack the base, why go one whole round?
Derrick: Er... oh, they want check river got rune or not...
oof: LAME!!!!
derrick: ok i admit, i fell asleep while drawing out the map, so those lines are there....
Zee: Hmm, but from this map, we can see that we're severely outnumbered, 5 v 13... what is this, a manga?
Ler: [playing psp]
marc: [reading fpm]
Jan: Eh fuck la, these 2 like not even listening...

~Boii army main force, east gate~

fluffytiger: wonder wheres the boss... he haven't signaled the attack...
teitei: sian...

~clan nyl main force, west gate~

glbin: kns, fucking long, where the hell is that obpskuang bastard...

~o-hq war room~
Zee: Eh, where's obpskuang's location?
Derrick: that one uh i also not sure, he haven't appear...
Jan: well, whatever, lets prepare for battle!

~cave of orbuals~
obua: [talking on phone] ehhhhhhhhhh, yaya, send some help ahs thanks....

~~
Who did obua call? No one knows, except obua himself...
Obua: Ehhhh.... I forgot liao... alzheimer disease....

Thus, was another day in the cave of orbuals.. uh... nevermind...

~o-hq~
Zee: Everyone in position?
Jan: Kinda
Derrick: Yep
Morphling: Er... ya
Zee: hold on, why like short of two people...
Morphling: I think they still inside the war room playing psp/reading fpm....
Jan/zee: DAMNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!

and thus was another day in obuaism hq....

Go Obua-ians! (Short ripoff stories...)
Chapter 2: Fishballs!

In this holyland...there lies 7 mysterious spheres. It is said that whoever collects these 7 spheres could summon a huge fish and be granted a wish of his choice. The spheres upon summoning the huge fish...would scatter across the land once more...lying in wait to be found again....the spheres are called...FISHBALLS!!!!....the story begins...

Zee: Marc...you have trained well since the day I have adopted you...for now you are free to go roam around the world and search for the fishballs.
Marc: Don't want lah...I lazy go...i rather train for eternalty here...
Zee: If you find the fishballs...you can get as many little girls as you want...

Psssssshew....
Zee: hey...where did marc go!?

Marc flew off on a cloud...which is named...spikey yellow hair (SYH for short). SYH can reach up to 500km/h but for every 1 kg on it its speed reduces by 5km/h. Marc is 90kg so syh is actually going at X km/h. Solve X.

Solution:
1 kg ---> 5km/h
90 kg ---> 90 X 5 = 450km/h
500 - 450 = 50km/h

Therefore marc is going at 50km/h.

Meanwhile...on another continent...

Jan: Ler...you have trained quite well since the day your mom gave birth to you...and by the way I am not your dad although there is a chance my sperm could have gotten into her...but nevertheless...I want you to go search for the fishballs.

Ler is playing his pxp...

Jan: Take this fish radar and it would show you the position of the fishballs...when you collect all 7 of them...bring them back here for me to make a wish.

Ler is playing his PXP...

Jan: I have ordered this flying machanism for you...use it to find the fishballs...

Ler is playing his pxp...

Jan: forget it...

Meanwhile...back to Marc...

Marc: Little girls...soon...but where are the fishballs!?...AH! There they are...

In front of marc stood a pillar which rosed high into the skies...on the pillar skewered 7 spheres...these must be the fishballs...

Marc: Lucky lucky

The balls shone and a huge fish appeared infront of Marc...

Fish: Who dare awaken the great Sardine!?

Marc: Can I make a wish?

Fish: Who dare awaken the great Sardine!?

Marc: Er...Jan?

Fish: Jan eh?...Fish god wrath!

A water jet appeared on top of Jan's head....
:command:
Dodge
I am a rock!
Jan chose "I am a rock!"

Fish: Wish granted marc...bye...
The fishballs scattered around the world...

Marc:....little girls....??

End of chapter 2....

Go Obua-ians (Short ripoff stories...)
Chapter 1 - I thought I have a long way to go!

In an indoor stadium somewhere in the world...

Marc: I am going to crush you...horn smash!
Marc smashes his horn at his opponent

Qiyue: I am a ghost you can't hit me....shadow slash!
Qiyue slashes towards Marc with his shadow claws...which marc dodged easily
.....

Commentator: what a dramatic match! We bring this match live from the grand stadium...

*TV switches off*
Mom: Hey Jan, you just missed your brother's stadium battle on TV...he won!
Jan: Wow...thats my brother for you...
Mom: We just moved in here, why don't you go pay your neighbour Prof.Obua a visit?
Jan: Sure...

Jan walked slowly to the house next door...

Another mom: Why...are you our new neighbour? Welcome...my son Zee is upstairs...
Jan: ok auntie...

Jan climbed up the stairs and entered a room...

Zee: Potions checked...weapons...checked....OH!
Jan: !???
Zee: you startled me...oh you are Jan our new neighbour? nice to meet you...I have to go do some research near the next town...goodbye..
Zee rushed off....

Meanwhile...

???: AHHHHHHH help help! Someone is in trouble...
Jan went to the town entrance and saw an old man getting chased around by a monster...

Old man: Hey kid...can you help me?...in my bag there are 3 weapons...take one and come slay this monster.

Bag: A light saber
A machine gun with unlimited bullets
A very ordinary sword
Jan chose the sword.

Jan went for the first attack on the monster...turns out to be a barngaela. The barngaela turned its attention to Jan. Jan slashed the barngaela 300 times on the same spot dealing tremendous damage! The barngaela counter attacked with a poke....Jan whited out...

Old man: Hey!...kid are you alright...-.-

Jan regained his concious...
Mom: Oh...Jan..how could this happen to you...
Old man: Sorry Jan...it is all my fault...by the way I am Prof. Obua
???: I am doctor Ler...
Doc. Ler: Jan you must be prepared...your spine has suffered massive impact due to the barngaela's poke and you would be bedridden your whole life. I know you must be feeling terrible...so I bought someone with me...
???: I am priest morphling and I am here to be a witness if you want to suicide.

:Command:
Die
Don't die

Jan chose to die....

Chapter 1...end...

OOF- Chapter 10, Prelude to the decisive battle.

So well, as usual, another day in the O-hq

Marc was reading his monthly issue of the magazine- "FPM(For Pedo's Magazine)"
[Trivia: Did you know FHM stands for "For him magazine"?]

Ler was playing Soldiers Orochi 2 on PSP
[Note: His computer is there afk as usual]

Zee was playing the Obua's theme on the piano
[Complain: Silent Nights (Christian hymm)'s melody was ripped off our obua's theme]

Jan was renovating the kitchen
[Notice: Danger please keep out]

Derrick was tweaking the "Derricks obuaism tactical attack" game
[Apologies: The new version will be delayed for three days]

Obpskuang was doing something suspicious.... hold on, how suspicious?
[Random: The last sentance was really random]

Zee: Oooooooo-o-o-buaaaaaaaaaa
Jan: Eh, not bad eh the remixed version
Zee: Yea thanks.

Meanwhile, at boii-hq
~boii-hq~
fluffytiger: what brings you here, glbin?
glbin: I believed we both kept suffering defeat from the obua clan, shall we just march to create a joint attack on the O-hq?
fluffytiger: Heh, a wise idea... Lets prepare for war then!

back in O-hq
~o-hq~
Derrick: eheheheh, guys guys!! siao liao, latest news report, the Nylboii coalition is making a joint attack on our HQ, how sia?
Zee: Shit, like that we're severely outnumbered wor... eh hold on... where you get the news?
Derrick: Aiya, I hacked into their home page ma, neh, let you see...
[Derrick enters www.nylclan.org , NOTE: THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL LINK!]
Jan: Oh i see... only got nyl de? No boii de?
Derrick: hold on ahs....
[Derrick enters www.877boiiarmy.org , NOTE: THIS IS ALSO NOT AN OFFICIAL LINK, IF IT IS, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!]
Derrick: Here is th- what the hell? Whats this!?
Computer: boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii virus infected, boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii virus infected, files rotting and computer rotting begins, boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Jan: holy!? her powers even affect her clan's webpage!?
Derrick: seem so... T_T my new nec laptop.... [sobs]
Zee: I pity you...
Marc: Eh, enemy sighted!
Zee: Shit, how many are there?
Derrick: -ma!


Fluffytiger, level ??
Teitei, level 93
Darrell, level 79
Homeborn, level 79
Joe-Seth, level 90
glbin, level ??
hoppingmushroom, level 97
ahni, level 94
g.g.d, level 92
whaeli, level 94
mopling, level 87
Jaktaral, level ??
Jakyrho, Level ??
Ratwardan, level ??
NYL soldiers, quantity: 100000
Boii soldiers quantity: 120000
Fernando Torres, level 1 (Left at 0.01)

Derrick: I think thats all....
Ler: Wakao, so many this time??? Not easy liao...
Marc: Wheres Morphling? Never seen him since this morning...
Obpskuang: Looking for morphling? [Throws a body down]
Jan: Morphling!!! What the fuck, what have you done, obpskuang?
Obpskuang: So you still don't know eh? I'm not one of you...
Zee: What do you mean? You're obua's son right?
Obpskuang: Yes I am, but I'm also the Boii's clan second in charge after Boii's retirement, I've severed ties with my father eversince I was a kid!
Jan: Fuck, you traitor!
Obpskuang: I never was one of you, suit yourself for calling me that if you want, now today shall be the day the obuaism falls! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Thus was another noisy day at o-hq...

to be continued......

OOF, chapter 9- The battle of Nicol Highway

It was another day in the O-HQ, but the oof were not all there. Marc and Morphling were defending their post over at Nicol Highway, due to orders from the JZ army.

~Nicol Highway~
Marc: Eh fuck la, Morphling, stop emoing and slashing your wrist la kaos...
Morphling: Shuddap la... you won't understand my feelings...
Marc: Sua...

[Morphling continues slashing his wrists]

Back at O-HQ

~O-HQ~
Obpskuang: {Whispering to himself while writing a email} The defence of Nico-
Ler: YO KUANG!
Obpskuang {Alt+tab into a dota game} Yea sup?
Ler: Wa, playing dota never jio me har? You goooooooood....
Obpskuang: Sorry la... You want play or not?
Ler: Sua la, lazy... *making a clacking sound with his tongue*...
Obpskuang: I see, then go along ba, seeyas
Ler: Seeyas!
[Ler leaves]
Obpskuang: Heng never let him see... {Continues writing the email}

~Boii-hq~
Fluffytiger: Its time for battle... Darrell, Homeborn(aka jia-sen), prepare for battle, I order you two to attack the Nicol highway. I've already requested for reinforcements from the NYL army and they're sending a monster called Reigor Rockhoof to assist you two.
Darrell/Homeborn: Yes sire.

~Nicol Highway~
Marc: Eh, you got notice around us, alot of corpse are appearing for some reason?
Morphling: Shaddap la, I emoing...
Marc: Nevermind...
[Marc moves around to investigate the corpse appearances]

???: Heh... this should be enough for my ech-
Marc: Eh, stop littering my territory with your stinking corpse la
???: Eheheheheh... You must be Marc...
[In front of Marc stands a big humanoid figure which looks like a cow]
Marc: Who the hell are you and how you know my name?
???: My name is Reigor Rockhoof, aka Niu Tou (Cow head), and you don't have to know how do I know your name.
Marc: {Thinking} Can it be.... that I'm so famous!?... Wahahahahahahahhaahahahahaha
Marc: Hold on.... why're you littering this place with corpses?
Reigor: No particular reason...
Marc: So are you friend or foe?
Reigor: Hmm... What do you think?
Marc: Friend?
Reigor: Wrong, I'm a foe you fool...
Marc: Uh... Ok...... So what do ya want?
Reigor: What do i want.....? I want.... your LIFE!
[Reigor lifts his totem and rushes towards Marc]
[Special Note: Marc is not using his Hunting horn this battle, but rather, a giant blade]
Marc: Shit! {Parries with his giantblade] Ugh... Such a be..ast!
Reigor: Heh! Not bad! I shall go at 50% of my strength now, Enchant Totfem!
[Reigor lifts his totem and slams on the ground, and his totem starts to grow bigger to twice its size]
Marc: What the.... What was that!?
Reigor: Now prepare to die, fool!
[Reigor lifts his totem with all his might and strikes at Marc]
Marc: Heh, guess I have to use it huh... Might of the arcanes, appear, my staff!
Reigor: Wha-
[Reigor flinches due to the massive amount of power emitted from Marc]
Marc: Now prepare to die fool, lightning!
[Marc shoots a bolt of lightning over at Reigor]
Reigor: Heh, you think that little damage will kill me? You underestimate me, son, now my turn, Fissure!
[Reigor smashes the ground with his totem, causing the ground in front of him to crack, damaging Marc as well as leaving an impassable crevasse]
Marc: Heh, useless, mana shield owns!
Reigor: Heh, blink dagger, teleport me beside him! {Reigor appears beside Marc}, now DIE, ECHO SLAM!
[Reigor sends shockwave shooting through the ground, reflecting around the corpses he left earlier and marc]
Marc: Ugh... fuck, so thats what the corpses are for...
Reigor: Heh, now you shall die! Ugrahhhhhhhhhh!
[Reigor lifts his totem up, preparing for the finishing blow]
Marc: Heh, Frostbite!
[Marc freezes Reigor in a pillar of ice]
Marc: Now in this 3 seconds, I shall brutally murder you, haste!
[Marc casts haste on himself, making himself faster]
Marc: Time to use my most powerful spell... Hope enough time to cast the incarnation!
Marc: {Muttering a ridiculously long incarnation}, Eternal glacier!
[An AoE of 500 around Reigor freezes in absolute zero temperature]
Marc: For the finishing strike... Cosmic Catastrophe!
[From the sky, a 15beams from all different locations were shot and with a loud "boomz!", reigor got vaporized, leaving no trace of his being.]
Marc: Ugh... finally... Didn't want to use that spell initially... uses up too much of my magic power... I guess time for me to rest...
[Marc faints out of fatigue and tireness]

~~~

Morphling: Wonder where Marc went...

???(a): Hey, you know where's the obuaism camp around here?
???(b): Yea, quick, we need to get there quickly...

Morphling: Uh...{they look like enemies...} I don't know, who're you two?

???(a): Darrell
???(b): Homeborn(jia-sen)

Morphling: Where're you two from?

Darrell: From Boii-hq
Homeborn: Headquarters of the Boii army

Morphling: Uh ok... Hold on... let me sms ask my friend if he knows or not... {Sms-es O-hq for reinforcements}

~O-Hq~

Jan: Eh, i received a sms.... Nicol highway in trouble, need to go help i guess...
Zee: Hmm... Who should we send?
Derrick: I would like to try my abilities...
Zee: Ok, you shall go then...
Derrick: Thanks!

~Nicol Highway~
Derrick: So Morphling, who're the one that wants to know about the Obuaism camp?
Morphling: Norh, those 2....

Darrell: Yo, so you're derrick eh?
Derrick: Yea... Lets have a drink ba, I'll tell you while drinking
Homeborn: Good idea...

[Derrick drugged darrell and Homeborn's drinks with heavy laxatives]
.....
.....
-After the drink-
Darrell: Eh shit, i eat something wrong, need go toilet, Homeborn, lets retreat for now... toilet toilet....
Homeborn: siala... same... i stomachache too... lets go ba, oya, thanks for the drinks anyway!
Derrick: no problem!

~Boii-HQ~

Darrell: EH FUCK LA I NEED THE TOILET MORE THAN YOU LA!
Homeborn: WHO SAY, MY STOMACH HURTS MORE THAN YOU LA, KNN!
Fluffytiger: What the fuck you two quarrelling about?
Darrell: We stomachache, but only got one toilet....
Fluffytiger: Ya.... one toilet, but theres like fucking 20 cubicles in there...
Homeborn: Wha-? Oh sorry...

and thus was another day in the Boii-hq....
eh shit... wait... thats not how its supposed to end...

~O-HQ~

Zee: Eh siala, why marc haven't return?
Ler: Must be ****ing little girls again...
Jan: Freaking pedobua....

and thus was another day in Obuaism's HQ.... yea not funny... T_T

Obuaism's enemy encyclopedia, chapter 1.

Well, the obuaism has alot of enemies in oof. This new series is about them, but only the major ones.

~Boii-ians~

-Boii-
age: ??
first appearance: forgot...
abilities: Highspeed rotting upon contact
weapon: She herself is a human weapon...
bio: The leader of the boii army, the most fearsome being in the world until her sudden semi-retirement.

-Fluffytiger-
age: 18(?)
first appearance: obua's search for allies chapter 5
Abilities: not yet shown
weapons: two giant axes and metal gaunlets
bio: the battle master aka commandant aka temporary leader of the boii army. a fearsome warrior in the battlefield, and possess inmesurable strength. His abilities has yet to been shown.

-Joe-Seth-
age: 18(?)
first appearance: oof chapter 8
Abilities: Not yet shown
Weapons: A giantblade
bio: A strong man, who is some reason, holy yet evil. His strength is shown when he fought Ler, which he sent ler flying with just holding his 120kg giantblade with one arm. He was defeated by Obpskuang, who let him live.

~Clan NYL~
-glbin-
age: 19
first appearance: oof chapter 5
abilities: Not yet shown
Weapons: Not yet shown
bio: Not much is known about him yet, but theres a history between clan nyl and jan, and zee somehow knows about it too. Glbin is the leader of the nyl army.

-hoppingmushroom-
age:19
first appearance: oof chapter 5
abilities: not yet shown
weapons: not yet shown
bio: also known as H.M. He got his name from his way of walking and his hair. Not much is known about him either.

-ahni-
age: 16
first apearance: oof chapter 5
abilties: summon(?)
weapons: not yet shown
bio: a young girl with immense powers from her summons. she summoned "Rexal", who nearly killed zee if not for zee's ability. Other than these, not much is known bout her.

-g.g.d-
age:16
first appearance: oof chapter 4
abilties: laser, grow
weapons: not yet shown
bio: she first appeared as a random lady selling drinks at cutthroat prices to jan when jan was escaping from the boii-hq. Jan almost lost to her if not for his god-mode ability which awakened at that time.

-Mopling-
age:19
first appearance: oof chapter 8
abilties: not yet shown
weapons: not yet shown
bio: not much is known of him other than hes quite similar to mopling but not as emo.

-Whaeli-
age:19(?)
first appearance: oof chapter 8
abilities: not yet shown
Weapons: not yet shown
bio: Not much is known about him.

That is all for now.
~

oof chapter 8 - The new omfg

So was another day in the O-HQ, where the oof and the omfgs were training and slacking...

Jan: Heh, glad that our lord is still alive eh?
Zee: Yea, the plane there and back was... ugh...
Jan: Don't remind me of it!!!!!
Obua: Ehh, I'll be going to meditate again, see you all.
Oof/Omfg: See ya milord

Jan: Well... what do we do now? Sibei sien now sia...
Zee: No idea...
Marc: Ya lor, kns...
Ler: Aiya... i go scout a little at the boii clan.
Jan: Go on then, don't die...
Ler: Don't worry... I'll smash them like bangarlaes with my hammer if they come disturb me...

And so, ler sets off to the boii camp with his trustworthy hammer.

Zee: Weird sia... first time see him leave this place for a reason other than to eat....
Marc: Agree...

~Forest to the boii's camp~
Ler: Ugh, kns, sibei sien...
???: Leave your money and weapon or your life.
Ler: Who the fuck are you?

In front of ler, appeared a figure of a big brute, in his arm a giant blade.

???: My name is Joe-seth, your worst nightmare, now leave your money and your weapon or die!
Ler: Lets see who die la, you dare come!
Joe-seth: You asked for it, now die!

-Holding his giant blade with one hand, joe-seth sent ler flying while ler tried to parry with his hammer-

Ler: Ugh... What immense strength... guess i gotta go seri-, shit!!! Just now ate too much now stomach ache... siao liao...
Joe-Seth: Heh, now die, fool!
Ler: damn...
???: Hold yer horses, scum!
-A spear appeared and deflected Joe-seth's giantblade for Ler-
Ler: Who're you and why you helping me?
???: My name is Obpskuang, son of your lord obua.
Ler: Milord have a son!?
Obpskuang: Yes he do, now stay there, I shall be your opponent, Joe-Seth!
Joe-Seth: Damnit, meddling scum, I shall smite you with my holy giantblade!
Obpskuang: I'd like to see you do it.
-Obpskuang, then, with one strike, had his spearhead infront of Joe-Seth's neck-
Obpskuang: One wrong move and you die, now drop your weapon.
Joe-Seth: Damn... Don't kill me, I promise to not rob again...
Obpskuang: Ok, now go, don't let me see you again...
Ler: Eh wait, you letting him go so easily?
Obpskuang: Killing is unholy...
Joe-Seth: I shall have my revenge one day!
-Joe-seth then went off-

Ler: Eh, thanks for your help ahs, obpskuang
obpskuang: don't worry... anyways, can you bring me to the O-hq? I don't know my way there and I have to meet my father....
Ler: Eh ok....

And so, Ler brought obpskuang to the O-hq

~O-HQ~

Zee: So whos this?
Obpskuang: The name is Obpskuang, son of obua... Where is my father? I need to meet him.
Jan: You came a little too late, he went to meditate and won't be back for another 3 months.
Obpskuang: [Damn...] Sigh, I'll have to wait i guess...
Jan: Is something the matter?
Obpskuang: Uh no its nothing...
Jan: Ok...

Meanwhile...

~Boii's HQ~
Joe-Seth: Sorry boss, i failed you...
Fluffytiger: Don't worry, i've this covered, you've done a good job anyways.

And meanwhile again...

~NYL Hq~
glbin: So you failed too eh, ahni?
ahni: sorry, i didn't expect them to be able to defeat Rexal...
h.m: Well... really didn't expect that you and g.g.d will lose to them...
mopling: Well... we still have a chance right?
(Note: this is not morphling, its a similar person to morphling, just not so emo)
Whaeli: I guess so...

and once again... meanwhile...

~Cave of orbuals~
Obua: Ehh... Hmm... I have a bad feeling about whats happening back in singapore... like a wars gonna happen again....

back in O-hq, the OOF and omfg are partying due to boredom...

~O-HQ~
Jan: huat ah!!! cheers to boredom!
Zee: cheers!
Marc: kns... you all good la, drink alcohol, i must drink milk...(cause i can't take alcohol...)
Ler: Errr i duwan, i go back my room play psp...
Derrick: {Drunk state} ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sibei sien uh, paisei ah all, i play around... -hhn!
:Kao eh, not this again la... getting lame liao
:Agree
:boiiiiiiiiiiiiii
:FUCK LA WHO SAID THAT
Morphling: Uh? Whats happening?
:Wth? Why morphling the name still can see?
:Ya lor, writer bias
:Uh no la, -hhn is hide hero's name ma... He is not hero enough, must be too emo liao..
Morphling: Fuck la who said that come out, i show you the heroic power of emo!
:Siam siam siam!!!

And thus, was another noisy day at obuaism hq...

Hidden powers chapter 3 & 4

Well, as we seen, Zee and Morpheng has shown a little of their abilities... So its time for a Hidden Power's post!

-Chapter 3-
Morphling
Age:19
Weapon: Dagger(more of penknife instead)
Potential: Average
Current strength: almost peaked
Bio: A emo guy, who is despo for girls at times and can even pcc from imagination. He is Jan's friend and disciple. His weapon is a long penknife that doesn't snaps, and his fighting style is really weird. He emos most of the time and at times uses his penknife to slash his wrists... But his special ability is also based on emo-ness, the Emo-blood... Due to his ability, his heart pumps blood at an increased rate, 20x faster than normal human, so if he do not slash his wrists, he may die of blood overload.

Ability- Emo-blood

Emo-blood is a special ability used by morphling, which allows him to control his blood as well as hardening them or softening them at will. The further the blood is, the harder it is for him to control them. As we see from chapter 6, he created two broad swords from his wrists and sent many sword waves of blood over to the enemy. That is only one of his abilites... So basically, this ability is quite similar to Jan's "Vibrant display of a thousand Cherry blossom's godmode", only riskier as it may cost his life from over use of blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Chapter 4-
Zee
Age 17
Weapon: Dual blades
Potential: Really really uber high(same as Jan's)
Current strength: Above average, until his ability emerges.
Bio: Known as the deadman to some. He joined obuaism along with Jan as the first 2 disciples, and is a part of the JZ army. with his dual blades, he went through many battles. He has a ability that he does not even know of, which defeated Rexal on chapter 7.

Ability: ???

??? because the writer haven't thought of a name for this ability. Not much has been known about this ability yet, except that it increases Zee's speed and strength ridiculously. He have no control over this self, and may even cause friendly fire.

~~~~
-Chapter 2.1-
Jan
(Read chapter 2 on 20th august...)
Well, this is just a little update on his skills..
Basically his godmode turns into a "skilltree" or something, which he can link different godmodes to a new one, so like example, godmode -sword mode, with the katana in hand, he'll be able to use godmode- vdoatcb(vibrant display of a thousand cherry blossoms)
So this is the current few godmodes we know...

Sword mode ----> Vdoatcb

Fist mode

More will be slowly shown across time...

And the constipation effect he'll have when he uses godmode is just an rumor, he has no limit over how much he uses godmode.

So thats all for now, see ya all in chapter 5!

Marc: EH!!! HOLD ON!!! WHY MORPHLING GOT HIS ABILITY SHOWN BEFORE US? KAOS!!!
Ler: Ya lor kao eh, we two really damn poor lei, no special abilities yet!
~

Oof chapter 7 - Showdown at Bombay

So, as the battle of O-HQ ended with Lord Obua's return, Jan and Zee were fighting against Rexal and his pet, Ratlyos...

Jan: The next hustle, diamond dust!

-Jan lifts his sword and points it at ratlyos, and a massive wave of ice appeared and was fired over at Ratlyos-

Ratlyos: *Roar!!!!!!*

-Ratlyos flys up into the air and fires a massive fireball, melting the ice that Jan fired out-

Jan: *huff huff*... damn, Ice attacks doesn't seem to work... And fist attack can only be used against humans... I guess I have to use my other form... A form that i would never wanted to use due to the imbal-ness... Godmode... 千本桜景厳....

Zee: Eh siao eh, this one english blog, kns why got japanese?
Jan: Oh paiseh... Godmode... Vibrant Display of a Thousand Cherry Blossoms!!!!

-Jan drops his katana into the ground, and 2 rows of katanas appeared, scattering into more than a million small blades-

-Ratlyos fires 300 fireballs at Jan continuously-

-Jan uses the "petals" to form a shield-

Jan: Heh... This has gone long enough... Pivotal scene!
-Jan controls every blade in a spherical formation around Ratlyos, which then collapses into him from every possible angle, leaving no blind spots and no chance to escape-
Ratlyos: I FAILED YOU... MASTAR REXAL....

Rexal: Useless fool... now I have to go 2v1 again...
Jan: *Huff...* don't worry, its still 1v1, i over used my powers.... need to take a break... Eh zee, i go makan some bombay curry, later you kill him liao come find me....
Zee: Sure... see ya then...
Rexal: Hold on, Zee, why not we have a truce to go eat curry first?
Zee: I'm sure you wouldn't want that... After the curry it'll become 2v1 again...
Rexal: Oh... Then lets continue our battle then... The winner shall eat curry
Zee: Yes, en garde!

-Zee keeps his giantblade and pulls out his dual blades-

Rexal: Oh? So you use dual weapons too eh?
Zee: Well, if I don't it wouldn't be fair will it?
Rexal: Indeed, lets fight then... for the sake of curry!

And so, the most epic showdown ever in bombay happened... Dual blades vs Dual axes... and the winner will get to eat one of the best curry in bombay...

Zee: I know you're not a weak foe, so I shall go all out from the start... Demonize!!!!
Rexal: Heh... Really good... Then I shall not hold back either, Beast rage!!!

(Note: Beast rage increases rexal's attack speed everytime he attacks)

The two dual weapon users clashed, and for 2 hours, no victor was emerged...

Zee: *huff* You're strong... But for the sake of curry, i will not lose!
Rexal: *huff* Same here, I want my curry! Now you shall die! PRIMAL ROAR!!!!

-While in a weapon clash, rexal suddenly attacks with a loud roar, stunning zee and pushing him back-

Rexal: Now die! Wild axes!

-Rexal throws his two axes with great force towards zee, thinking it'll end, but zee, at the nick of time, managed to come to his senses and parried with his dual blades... But the force of the axes were too strong, breaking the dual blades and sended zee flying-

Zee: *huff huff*... Ugh... Damn...
Rexal: Now you shall die, thou I respect your abilities. You would have win if I can't roar...
Zee: no... this will not end like this.... for my currrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rexal: Wha-

-Zee suddenly emitted a strong wave of energy creating a fog of sand-
Rexal: What power... Where the hell is he?
Zee: Heh
-While Rexal is looking around, Zee suddenly appeared behind him an gave him a punch a normal human can never give, sending Rexal flying-

Rexal: *huff* what the... what the fuck are you? Whats with that... savage eyes of a hungry animal?
Zee: Eheheheh...
Rexal: Fuck you! Wild axes!

-Rexal throws the axe over at Zee again, but Zee stopped the two axes with his hands-
Rexal: What the..
Zee: DIE! Ehehehhehe....
-Zee drops the axes and in a split second, appeared infront of Rexal, which flew 200meters in the clash earlier-
Zee: Ne last words?
Rexal: You're truly a beast...
Zee: Heheh...
-Zee then unleashed a fury of punches at a speed that no naked eye can ever see and Rexal was defeated and killed, and Zee returned to normal-
Zee: *Huff*.. what the hell happened? Why're you beaten down, Rexal?
Rexal: Wha? I guess... you don't know about your beast self huh Zee.. Ugh... Well, I lost... And I guess my time is almost up i guess...
Zee: Damn... I'm really sorry, what can I do to repay you?
Rexal: I.... I.... wanna.... drink curry... Ugh...

And with his last words, Rexal died. Zee has absolutely no memory of what had happen before, but went to buy a bowl of curry and placed it as an offering at Rexal's tomb, and after that, going to meet Jan...

Jan: Ah, finally you're here, Zee, so I guess you won?
Zee: Yea kinda, but I can't remember anything.
Jan: Heh, well congratulations anyways, go order something then
Zee: Yes... Finally... Bombay curry... wahahahahaha... Hey shop keeper! I would like to order one bowl of mutton curry!
Shopkeeper: Sorry, sold out, that customer(pointing to jan) has finished our stock...
Zee: Wha-... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... JAN!!! GET BACK HERE!!!
Jan: Shit, gotta run!!

And so, Zee and Jan managed to overcome their respective opponents, and Zee got a new ability which he can't control yet. Mm, curry, makes me hungry...

Next chapter... A new general appears, who is he? Friend or foe?

Oof Chapter 6

~Obua's Return~

On our last chapter, Kiyomora Tairi went off before telling the OOF about the revival.

Zee & Jan: Eh wait, before our new chapter begin, we would like to say something. From now on, OOF will only be used to describe the Obua's original four. Important side characters like "Derrick" and "Morphling" and up to come characters will be known as the Omfg, aka Obua's Millitary Force Generals.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jan: Eh siao liao... so how? Kiyomora Tairi disappear liao...
Zee: Ya lor... kns... How sia?
Derrick: Google is your friend...
OOF: ... Good idea..

And so, the oof searched google...

Marc: 0 results found... cheapass bastards...

Zee: Gg lor...

Ler: Eh.... you all go slowly think of a way la... i go play my psp... oya, don't off the computer...

Marc: Shit, my mother call... gotta go buy dinner for her, so no choice...

Zee: So jan, how?...

Jan: Ok... we randomly go find... see what we can find...

Zee: Sigh, only thing we can do anyways....

And so, Jan and Zee set off to find the snake king in India...

~In the airplane~

Zee: Eh jan... This plane... Can really kill...
Jan: I know what you mean...

(Note: They're riding India airlines)

~India, Mumbai(Bombay)~

Jan: Ugh... Is it me or is it that an overwhelming smell of shit can be smelt...
Zee: Its not you... anyways, now we're in Bombay... lets call that snake king...
Jan: Hmm, ok, I call, I got auto roaming...

Phone: The singtel mobile customer you've reach is unavailable, please try again later.

Jan: His phone not on....
Zee: Eh wait... did it bloody just said Singtel?
Jan: Uh... wtf?
Zee: Call again try...
Jan: Ok...

Phone: *Dial tone* *someone picks* Harlow, tharnkyu for corlling the parstamania delivery hortline, my name is Marli, hrow may I assist you?

Zee & Jan: .... ROFL!?

Jan: So.... this Kiyomora Tairi gave us a fake number eh...? Wonder if he really can be trusted....

???: Heheheh.... So you two have arrived....

Zee: Who the...

Ahni: i'm Ahni from the NYL army, I've been waiting for you two for a long time....

Jan: Waiting for us?

Ahni: So you haven't guessed? This Kiyomora Tairi thingy is all just a hoax, just to isolate you two and the HQ...

Jan: Wha- Fuckin...

Meanwhile, the HQ is under attack by Fluffytiger and a new general of the boii clan, teitei.

Derrick: Shit... We kena attack... how sia marc?
Marc: That fucking ler, at this time of time still can sleep, no choice, must fight ourselves....
Morphling: Don't forget bout me!
...
...
...
Notice: The writer just remembered that Morphling's abilities and weapon haven't been told yet. His weapon is a dagger, and his abilities... Nah, I won't spoil you yet...
...
...
...

~India~

Zee: Damn you scheming bitch...
Ahni: Why thank you... Its me afterall, hehehehehehehehe....
Jan: Shit this... godmode, sword form!
Ahni: Hush on your temper, I shall not waste my time fighting you guys... Come forth, my loyal servant, Rexal!
-Ahni summons a humanoid creature with two big axes-
Ahni: Treat them well, Rexal.
-Ahni disappears-
Rexal: roarrrrr! Me kill puny humans!
Jan: Heh, stupid looking beast, die! First hustle, White moon!
-A circle appears around rexal, and a pillar of ice appears, trapping rexal inside-
Jan: Thats it i guess...
Zee: Wow, thats fast...
Rexal: Bwahahahahahaha... Ya think so?
Jan: What th-
-Rexal breaks the pillar of ice and jumps towards Jan-
Jan: Ugh, hes strong, Zee, some help here...
Zee: You sure? 1v1 matches is more fair...
Jan: But hes using two axes... I'm only using a sword now...
Zee: Sigh... Ok...
-Zee takes out his alternate weapon, a giant blade and attempted a slash at rexal-
Rexal: Bwahahaha, too slow!
-Rexal parries with his other axe-
Rexal: Now now, a 2v1 fight isn't that fair is it? I shall ask for some help I guess... *Whistles*
-A wyvern appears-
Rexal: hes called Ratlyos, go get him, Ratlyos (points towards Jan), and now, I shall take care of you personally, Giantblade guy....

~Meanwhile, back at O-HQ~

Marc: Damn, we can't hold them!
Derrick: They're strong but do not falter! Wait for creeps!
Marc: wth -.-....

Fluffytiger: Wahahahahahahahahahahaa, Now its time for Obuaism to fall!
???: EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-A really really loud soundwave hits the ground, killing 50 000 boiians
Boi-ian A: Is that who i think it is....?
Boi-ian B: Its... its... ITS OBUA!!! OBua has came to destroy us!

Obua: Ehhhhhhhhh... Salvation has comed, my men, fight on!
Marc: Lord obua! You're not dead!
Obua: Ehhhhh, you mean the heart attack? Nah, the doctor wrote wrongly... He gave you the wrong diagnose results...
Derrick: Thanks god, you're alive, milord!
Obua: Ehhhhhh.... now let us counter-attack!
Morphling: Ugh... Gotta use my skill now...
-Morphling slashes both of his wrists-
Marc: Eh morphling!!! Wth you do? Don't emo!!!
Morphling: Don't worry... heh... emo blood blades!
-Morphling's blood come out as thou alive and turned into two board swords-
Morphling: Blood beam!
-Morphling does a slash action and waves of blood comes out to attack the enemy-
Marc: Then I shall not falter too!
-Marc starts blowing his horn buffing the others-
Derrick: Chiong ah!!!!
Obua: EHhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH

-With all their combined efforts, the boi-army got obliterated totally, and only teitei and fluffytiger managed to escape....

Marc: Its a shame that they escaped... Sigh
Obua: EHhhhh, don't worry, theres always next time...
Derrick: Hold on... question, wheres morphling?
Marc: I wonder too...

-In an ambulance-
Morphling: Kns.... lucky my heart pump blood fast... or i'll have died of blood loss... Must emo le...

Next chapter: Zee/Jan's fight in India...