New Members Update

Obuaism welcome two new members officially!! Bringing our number to 6! Although its still small, we are making progress! One small step in number, one great step for Obuaism!

New members:
Derek Lim
Chen MingYong

May Obua bless them and may all christians die!

Obua News Channel

Date: 25/8/2009



Missing Person Case: Boii
Boii have been missing in action for approximately a month, various sources had indicated that she might be missing for a long period of time. However, today at around 7.45pm, a reliable source had inform us that Boii is back at her usual spot, being chaffeur around by her bangala servent at blk 877. Where did boii disappeared to for this whole month? Following are the possible reasons:

- H1N1
- Old folks home...too stinky and kena sent back
- Dead...ghost month now come back
- Other possible illness
- Followed a boy and ended up lost in another estate
- Someone threw her into a taxi and said "please send her to joo koon"

Contest => Send in your most creative reasons why boii was missing for the month and the most creative reason will stand to win a cash prize of $200 and an Obua figerine. Send in your reasons t0 Missing_boii@obuaism.com

Forbidden Love 4

Jan went gave boii a kiss and went into boii's house. The rot aura did not hurt him at all, apparently boii had dropped her guard against Jan. The video was the proof that Jan had betrayed Obua and defected to boii's side being her gigolo...at least this was what the obua-ians thought.

Jan: This is it!...I can do this alone...

What is Jan plotting!?...he was in bed beside boii holding up his Sword in his sword mode. Is he gonna attack boii? Is the greatest rival of Obua gonna fall this instance? With a deep trust...the sword was embedded deep into boii's heart...

Jan: Dead...or not...

Upon boii's "death", the room swirled like it is in epic chaos, swirling and swirling and swirling...

Jan: Hmm is this the sign of death?...I would gladly die if it is...

Jan closed his eyes...prepared for whatever is coming....yes...a sound is coming...the end of boii's era is here...Jan can die without regrets. Come! the sound of punishment...

???: Booooiiiii
Jan: Come again!?
???: Boooooiiii
Jan: thats not right...my ears are playing tricks on me right? hahahas
???: Booooiiii
Jan: I must be dreaming...hearing things....
???: Booiiii
Jan: Can you stop destroying my hope!!!!!!??

Jan opened his eyes to see himself in a plain field. It was all an illusion set to test Jan's loyalty to boii and he failed...now death awaits him...

Boii: boooiii...do youuuu thiiinnnk yooouuuu caaaannnn kiiillll meeee soooo easiiillly?
Jan: Talk faster....almost fell asleep lah..
Boii: I...yooouuu
Jan: What?
Boii: I...yoooouuuu
Jan: talking faster doesn't mean skipping the words in between...
Boii: I WILL Free you!
Jan: hahas free me...like hell you will!!
Boii: Go...and never return...

Jan ran away...back to obua's hq...explained everything to them...but...

Marc: What you talking about?
Ler: Siao ah...you tried to bed boii??
Derrick: -switch ah?
Jan: huh? yesterday you all tried to kill me leh...thought I go over to that side
Marc: No leh...yesterday I was in town on my off day
Ler: I was on a mission wor...
Derrick: I was here...never see you whole day leh paiseh...
Jan: (So I was in that dream all along...thank goodness...I didn kiss boii hahas!!!)

A sound came into Jan's mind...

boii: you really think you never kiss me?? I will in your mind for a looong time...
Jan: ARGGGHH!!!

Jan banged his head on the wall...

Typical Day of OOF

Derrick Obuaism Tactical Attack! 2

Derrick: paiseh Guys...I finally coded the AIs!! Now we can play DOTA le.
Zee: Cool sia...i looking forward to it
Derrick: I also complete all our skills and descriptions le, here as follows:

Zee
Dual Blades - level 1
42 - 48
Range - Melee
Str - 18 + 1.6
Agi - 27 +2.4 Primary
Int - 15 + 1.6
Skills
Double slash - Deals double damage upon cooldown
20/15/10/5
Hurricane Slash - Deal damage in an aoe around zee, damage/cd improve per level
100 damage/40s
175 damage/35s
250 damage/30s
300 damage/25s
Hastega - Increase speed of friendly units in a 300 AOE for a period of time
10% Ms/10s
20% Ms/20s
30% Ms/30s
40% Ms/40s
Demonization - Increase atk speed tremendously for a 25 sec
60 atk speed
80 atk speed
100 atk speed

Jan
Sns - level 1
50-52
Range - Melee
Str - 18 + 2.0
Agi - 22 + 2.2
Int - 18 + 2.0
Skills
Flash Bomb - Stun all enemies in Jan's line of sight
0.5s/1s/1.5s/2s
30s cd
Block - Block an enemy's attack totally upon cd (passive)
30s/20s/10s/5s
Multislash - Slashes an enemy X times at max attack speed
3 times/5 times/6 times/7 times
30s
Summon : Lebuatain - Summon a mythical beast creating torrents in a 600 aoe (200 dmg + 2 sec torrent)
160/110s/60s

Ler
Hammer - level 1
62 - 82 (average attack speed)
Range - Melee
Str - 30 + 3.1
Agi - 10 + 1.2
Int - 12 + 1.4
Skills
Head lock slam - Swing the hammer and slam the floor for a 1.5 sec stun in 200 aoe
100/150/225/300 dmg
30s cd
Mighty Swing - Swing the hammer every hit to hit enemies
20%/30%/40%/50% cleave
Bangaelah Killer - For every bangaelah killed (A type of nc), gain strength
0.1/0.2/0.3/0.4 str gain
Bloody Desert - unleash the wrath of bloodlord, dealing damage in an AOE
100/120/140 damage per corpse.
150s cd

Marc
Horn - Level 1
58 - 65
Range - 150
Skills
Curaga - Heal units in an aoe
100/150/225/300 heal
30s cd
Sonic Wave - Pushes enemies aside in a 300 aoe
75/125/175/200 damage
50/40/30/20s cd
Spell sheild - sheild friendly allies in a 300 aoe against 300 spell damage
Lasts 10/15/20/25s
100 mana
Song of Death - All enemies on map take damage from hearing this melody
225/350/460 damage
120s cd

Derrick
Long sword - level 1
80 - 100
Range - 200
Skills
Coup De Vent - Blast a line in front of Derrick
300/400/500/600 damage
Mighty Cut - chance to one hit ko
96/97/98/99% chance
Ownage Stats - For every creep or hero killed
1 to each stats/3 to each stats/5 to each stats/7 to each stats
Elora Cause - Damage all enemies on the map and stuns for 2 sec
400/600/800/1000 damage

.....
Jan: Hold on a second...how come Derrick so imbal de??
Zee: 99% one hit kill...anything issit?
Marc: I spam derrick!!
Derrick: Eh...need password then can use hahas paiseh
Jan/Marc/Zee/Ler: Don't want play la...imbal
Derrick: Ok ok...i go remake my hero....oh..btw i haven't make opponent got skills

.....

Typical Day of the OOF

Derrick Obuaism Tactical Attack!

Derrick: hey guys, I made a new computer game lei...
Jan: so shiok!? I go take my Vaio laptop
Zee: I go take my Apple Macbook
Marc: I go take my Compaq laptop
Ler: I go take my Acer laptop
Derrick: Wa...knn i only have Dell...-.-

Derrick: Alright, I made this very nice game...is called Derrick's Obuaism Tactical Attack! Or DOTa for short.
Derrick: Choose your character model
Jan: wow, looks good...choose character...wa got me ah!? I choose Zee ba!
Zee: I take Derrick ba...cause somehow he look the most handsome inside...most human...
Marc: Why am I a Pig?
Ler: I love pig!!! I take hahahas
Marc: Left ler for me lor...
Derrick: I take Jan

Derrick: hehe ready le ma? ok...i check got who ah...-ma
Fluffytiger (level 1)
boii-ian (level 1)
Gaogaode (level 1)
boii-ian (level 1)
boii-ian (level 1)

Ler (Marc): I want buy this item call healing ring, where ar??
Derrick (Jan): Ah...I ping show u...around here...see this big head person he sell
Ler (Marc): k...
A few minutes later...
Marc have been killed by Boii

Marc (Ler): fuck you lah...got me killed...
Derrick (Jan): Don't go to boii...she is the big boss...
Jan (Zee): whats this?...my first skill is call Kaboom...i try
Zee has killed himself
Jan (zee): What the hell!?

Marc (ler): Ok I go to this lane beside this wierd structure wait ah?
Derrick (Jan): correct, then your opponent will come out...
20 minutes later....

Zee (Derrick): Eh...fed up liao lah...fluffytiger they all wont come out de...
Derrick (Jan): Ya...correct...
Jan (Zee): huh?? why?
Derrick (Jan): Cause I haven't code any AI for this game ma...
Zee/Jan/Marc/Ler: .......fuck you lah derrick...

ok... since jen wrote a hidden power, gotta steal this one from him...

But this one is serious de, no comedy, unlike his post
hidden power chapter 2

Jan
Age: 19
Weapon: SnS
Potential: Really really uber high
Current strength: Average normally, but have a special ability which he uses when he fights.
Bio: A crazy guy. He joined obuaism along with zee as the first 2 disiples, and is a part of the JZ army. He was a fearsome fighter before, but lost his fighting skills due to some reason, but after going to the boiis army in amesia, he gained a new ability- God mode.

Ability: God Mode

God mode is a special ability which transforms Jan into several forms.
One we have seen is the Fist form- In Oof chapter 4, vs g.g.d
there are a few more, one of them we heard of is called the sword form, which he will hold a pure white sword, which uses ice abilities.

Jan seems to be using this form like no one's business since then, and people were jealous bout his ability as he can use his ability without having much side effects and limit, but little did they know....

Whenever Jan uses Godmode, he will constipate for 3 days, and in that 3 days, if he uses godmode again, he will have constipation+constant stomachache.

~

Oof, chapter 4- Search
Note: this chapter is really long and a little lame, trust me, not much comedy -z

Marc: Knn... jan disappear for 2weeks le lei...
Derrick: Ya lor... search rune search so long...
Ler: maybe he kena techie bomb....
Zee/Marc: ....-.-

Obua: Ehhhh, jan haven come back?
OO4: Nope
Obua: Ehhh... then you all still here doing what?
Marc: Dunno..... We thinking of how lor...
Obua: Ehhh.... knnbccb, go find him la, think think think.... no brain ah
Ler: But lord, we dunno where to search from lei....
Obua: Ehh...ok.... i teach you... you call every house ask....
Ler: How? we dunno the numbers....
Obua: Ehhh..... use this!

Obua throws a big yellow book out, called the yellow pages

Marc: Wa.... what is this?
Obua: Ehhh.... yellow pages la, all the phone number in singapore all here
Ler: Oh...
Obua: Ehhh... Marc, you d-..
Marc: Ei paiseh, i today off day bb i go sleep liao
Obua: Ehh, wt- ok, ler you call a to g, derrick you call h to r, zee, do s to z
Oo3: ugh... ok....

And the 3 obuaians started calling...

Ler: Hello, this is obuaism's Marc calling, we're looking for a guy called jan, have you seen him? if you see him, please bring him to the information counter thank you.

Derrick: Hello, paiseh disturb, i'm Derrick calling from obuaism, looking for a guy called jan... eh? rong number ahs? ok... paiseh...

Zee: Hello... You have been cursed with 20 days of bad luck... how bad? walk pass road kena car bang, walk under hdb kena flowerpot. If you want to break the curse, find this guy called jan and send him to obuaism hq and you'll be free from the curse.

.......
Meanwhile
.......

Boii: boii... where that jan disappear?

Jan has escaped from the boii hq, after suddenly remembering his identity... who knows how he suddenly remember, i'm just the writer, not him...

~In the forest, time- 12.00am~
Jan: *huff, huff...* knn, scary... din thought i'll be studying under her... sialah scary....
???: Are you tired?
Jan: *huff...* Wh- who are you??

Jan sees a girl in red with an umbrella, no more than 16 years of age, quite tall and really slender, but her face can't be seen.

???: I'm just a girl living in this part of the forest... Are you thirsty?
Jan: *huff* Ya.... you got water ahs?
???: Yes...
Jan: gimme one....

The girl hands jan a bottle of ice mountain

Jan: Thanks ahs....
???: That'll be $500SGD
Jan: *Spits out the water* WTF!????? SO EX!???
???: Not enouf money?.... hehe......
~~~

Mean while....

~Obuaism hq, 12:30am~
Marc: Eh derrick.... i have a bad feeling about jan's disappearance lei... scared he die....
Derrick: Aiya, he check rune only.... we call all the houses in sg liao oso no one say got see him...
Marc: ... sua, i still feel unconfortable.... i wan go find him...
Derrick: then i come along ba... (Hopefully can learn something...)

~In potong pasir, 1.00 am~

Marc and derrick walked into the plains... but was ambushed by the 7 demons

Kan: Hehehe... you're all gonna die....
Marc: Shit..... kena surrounded... how sia... i can't blow my horn like that.... they sure kill me before that....
Derrick: I got idea....
Marc: No -hhn!!!!
Derrick: dun worry la... -lm!(long mode)
Marc: huh? i feel i have more vitality!
Derrick: quickly blow that horn!, lm makes your defence higher as well as opponents de, u blow hao lao tell me....

And so, mark lift-ed his new horn- Gabriel's horn and blew into it, increasing the combat abilities of both of them.

Marc: Done liao
Derrick: ok, -em!(easymode) chiong!

Marc and Derrick rushed their 7 opponents and brutalised them badly, and after the battle, the 7 bodys were never found in full.

~~~~~
Back to jan....

Jan: Er.... (i have bad feeling bout this... hold on.... can she be....) hold on, you hvn reply my question....
???: What question?
Jan: Whats your name?
???: People call me gaogaode
Jan: What kinda name is gaogaode?
g.g.d: Dunno, some weird race i think....
Jan: And that race love to rip people off money?
g.g.d: Ya.... So you paying the $500?
Jan: Err... Can refund?
G.g.d: You drink liao norh... must pay...
Jan: Hmm, if i make it full again can refund?
G.g.d: how?
Jan: Brb.... i go make it full again

Jan then goes behind the bushes and filled the bottle with pee

Jan: There, full liao
g.g.d: hold on... how come full again?
Jan: Magic!
g.g.d: eh teach me!
Jan: Only if you lead me out of this forest
g.g.d: you wan know? but i don't think you'll understand wor...
Jan: I'm a phd holder(poly halfway dropout actualy...), try me....
g.g.d: ok.... from here, go straight, turn left, then left again, then right, then left, then right, then turn right again
Jan: Ok.... thanks...
g.g.d: eh, you understand?
Jan: Ya, told you i phd le wad...(actually i don't...)
g.g.d: then good luck getting out
Jan: Eh w8w8.... actually i don't understand....
g.g.d: Ok, i'll show you the exit.... on one condition
Jan: What is it?
g.g.d: I'm desperate
Jan: Eh...(wa got free girl fuck... good sia...) but do where?
g.g.d: My house....
Jan: Ok!!
g.g.d: hehehes.....

The 2 started to make way to g.g.d's house... but on the way, jan saw something, which freaked him out...

Jan: y..y...yo..you're a g...g.gghost!!!!
g.g.d: shit, knn, how come like that oso let u see, nabei, since you know, i'll have to kill you... hehehehehhee....

g.g.d then became taller and taller and she was around 2x jan's height, and her claws came out of her red robe

Jan: Shit... wth are you sia....
g.g.d: I'm g.g.d, officer of the nyl clan, i'm sent to assassinate you, but to think you manage to figure out....
Jan: Ugh... *pulls out his weapon* i don't wanna hit a girl... but i will not treat u as one!

and the 2 started fighting.
g.g.d's claws were really sharp and were like swords, and jan is struggling...

Jan: shit... i'm gonna die here....
g.g.d: die now!

g.g.d unleashed her strongest attack, creating 10 beams, one from each of her claws and fired at Jan.
Jan managed to block it, but was severely injured....

Jan: Ugh.... I will not accept this...
g.g.d: Accept what?
Jan: I WILL NOT LOSE TO A BITCH!!!!!!!!! WRAHHHHHH!!!!

Suddenly, a glow of light burst out, and jan became to transform. his sword and shield both turned into arms, with the left one being a shield and the right one being a white fist.

Jan: Transformation complete... Godmode- Fist form!
g.g.d: wtf!? nabei, you think wad, powerranger ah, dying liao still can transform.... nvm still will die! *fires the 10 beams again*
Jan: Heh, easy.... *blocks the beams with the shield arm*
g.g.d: Wtf!?
Jan: My turn...

Jan suddenly appears infront of g.g.d and focused all his strength on a single punch, and punched her in the solar plexus

Jan: La mu*rte...

In an instant, g.g.d was defeated....
Jan reverted back and became really weak...
The forest became a plains and Jan noticed he was at Punggol, as the forest was a illusion created by g.g.d.

g.g.d: I'll remember this... ugh...

g.g.d managed to escape

Jan: Shit... nvm.. time to return...

And jan returned to the HQ

~Obuaism HQ, 6am~

Ler: You're back, jan!
Marc: Ya, where you go sia, tot you die liao
Derrick: ya lor, by techies' mines....
Zee: good to have you back...
Jan: Thx
Obua: Ehhh... Jan, you come back liao ahs...
Jan: Ya...
Obua: Ehh... how come u disappear? Where you go?
Jan: Eh.. w8 ahs... *whispers: derrick, can -hhn?"
Derrick: -hhn
: ehh... wtf? where my name go?
: kaos.. this again...
:boiiiiiiiiii
: i was hunting ghosts
: i slept with boii last night!!!
: WTF!?
: who said the last 2nd phrase!?
: ehhh... knnb, i'll gonna kill all of you!!!

And so, was another day in the obuaism hq....

Jen Production Presents....

A Obua Orginal Five Project....

Hidden Powers...Chapter 1

Derrick

Age: 19
Weapon: Long Sword
Ability: ???
Potential: MAX
Current Strength: Low

Derrick joined Obua as his fifth disciple and wields a long sword. In his battle against Fluffytiger of Boii's side, he struggled against him. However, he has a set of abilities which outshines alot of people...

Flashback...

Derrick: okok... -hhn
:ok.. eh hold on... where did my name go?
:.... wtf?:rofl...:obua is gay!!
:EHHHHHHHHH:?????
:boiiiiii......:....
:eh can revert?
:dunno got command or not...
:nevermind, i'll call the writer...

Even though derrick himself only uses this ability for fun, it is a strong ability...

Evidence:
In a battle between Marc, and a Boii-ian defence freak general...

Marc: You bastard...how come your defence so high!? hack ah?
Derrick: he use whosyourdaddy lah...
Boii-ian: Hahas...even though I have no offence...I am invulnerable to your attack
Marc: I will use my strongest attack, Horntail Beam!
Boii-ian: (What power...I will have to use...) Ion Armor Max!
....No effect....
Marc: (Have to recharge)
Boii-ian: (Have to recharge)
Marc: uh huh! I see...your ion armor max need to cooldown hor?
Boii-ian: you found out? so what? your beam also need recharge what!
Marc: Damn...
Derrick: Allow me to help...command technique! -wtf! Now your attacks no need to cooldown!!
Marc: Hahas...boii-ian...now my attack no need to cooldown...your so dead!?
Boii-ian: ....
HT Beam...ISM!...HT Beam!...ISM...HT Beam!...ISM...
Marc: eh derrick what the hell!?
Derrick: well -wtf is powerful...but it affects the enemies as well...-.-...well gtg...i pp liao...bb

In a battle between Jan and unknown...

Jan: Wah sien sia...don't know how many are there...scary...
Derrick: allow me to help...command technique..-ma! Reveal!

Boii-ian (level 1)
Grasshopper
Cat
Grasshopper
Dog
Commoner
Cockroach
Ant
Ant
Ant
Ant
Ant
Ant
Ant
Ant
.
.
.
.

Jan: Stop it!...why so many useless things...zzz...

In a battle between Derrick and Boii-ian Lieutanent

Derrick: Waaa attack you!
boii-ian: Not pain...=p..attack you back!
Derrick: Not pain XP...ok I make you feel pain...-em! Reduce defence!...slash!
boii-ian: Machiam pain!!! slash you back!!!
Derrick: holyshit pain like dog sia!!!!!!!

Although his ability is strong...he is not good at it....

New story- ~The Legend of the OOF players~

Note: This story is totally fictional and does not relate anything to the real world, just the setup of the teams and players and future transfers are. There will be many fictional characters too...

Chapter 1- Prelude
It was the year 2009, the new season is starting.
Many teams were reinforcing their teams with new signings, like real madrid, with their massive money bid on cristiano ronaldo, kaka and benzema, and the eto'o/ibrahimovic swap between barcelona and inter milan...

In the infamous EPL, teams are spending lots of money on transfers as its one of the biggest league in the world, dominated by liverpool, chelsea, manchester united, and arsenal.

In the past season, one of the previous better teams of the EPL, Newcastle, got relagated, and due to that, many top players have left the team...

Desprate, Mike Ashley was looking for a manager, a very good one at that too, and a man named Obua was signed as the new manager, with the assistant manager being the ex-caretaker, Chris hughton. Obua then brought in with him 5 players, which no one ever heard before.
-Zee, a 17 year old utility player, who favors the attacking midfield role.
-Jan, a 19 year old goalkeeper, who can also play in defence.
-Marc, a 17 year old defender, a huge defender, slow but steady.
-Ler, a 17 year old striker, agressive and have a strong shot, good acceleration too
-Derrick, a 19 year old midfielder, usually playing in the wings

These 5 players brought in were a shock to the team, as they never thought they're able to play at a high level in their age.

It was the start of the season.
Obua readied the tactic which is a 4-4-2 diamond formation for the first game, against West Brom. It was the very first game that he ever managed, and the first professional football game for the five youngsters.

-Formation-
GK-Jan
LB-Enrique
CB-Marc
CB-Steven Taylor
RB-Ryan Taylor
DMF-Coloccini
LMF-Derrick
AMF-Zee
RMF-Jonas Guiterrez
CF-Ler
CF-Shola Amoebi
Subs
1-GK-Harper
2-DF-Danny Simpson
3-DF-Tamas Kadar
4-MF-Guthire
5-MF-Geremi
6-MF-Nolan
7-FW-Andy Carroll

-The matchup-
It was against West Brom, and 5 players in Newcastle are set to make their debut. 5 youngster to be exact... How will they perform?

4' West brom had a chance to attack, nice pass by greening and a shot by ishmael miller, but sadly, a great save by Jan.

9' West brom with another chance to attack, but nice tackle by Marc.
9' Marc sends the ball over to derrick, and from the side, a pass to Zee, and he passes to Ler, Ler with a shot from outside the penalty box, its a goal!

10' WBA 0-1 Newcastle

26' So far nothing much exciting after that goal by Ler, oh hold on, I see marc sitting down in the penalty box!?...

37' Its a nice play by Greening, a good pass to ishmael miller whos in the penalty box, can he score?
37' Marc gets up on his feet in shock and does a slide, what a challange, and its a yellow card for Marc and its a penalty!

38' Goal! West brom capitalized the match with a goal with that penalty, a goal by Greening
38' WBA 1-1 Newcastle

43' Its a horrible foul by Steven Taylor, and its a penalty!, another penalty in 5minutes.
44' Jonathan Greening is taking the shot again... What a save, great save by Jan, its as thou he knows where the ball will go.

45+3' Half time

~In the locker room~
Jan: Walao... what u doing sia marc, cost us one goal lei...
Marc: Sorry la...
Jan: Aiya sua, dun bloody sit in the field again...
Marc: Ok...
Jan: Eh ler, you bloody eat 16 curry puffs liao u sure can play bo, later u play halfway u vomit then u noe...
Ler: Don't worry la... still got my chicken cutlet and chicken chop haven come...
Derrick: Eh jan, later remember use fissure block the goalpost...
Jan/Ler/Marc/Zee: LAME!!! -.-'''
Derrick: paiseh la....

And so, the 2nd half started

46' A nice play by derrick from the wings, he crosses in, zee with the header, aw, nice save by the keeper.

58' Its a substitution for the striker, Andy Carroll coming in for Ler... Apparently he has a stomachache...

Jan: knn... told him not to eat so much liao....

67' ishmael miller with the nice dribble, er... and in the penalty box, marc is sleeping!?.... miller shoots, jan with the desperate save, oh no, the ball rebounds onto marc and its an own goal...

Marc: uhh?...

68' WBA 2-1 Newcastle

Zee: Damnit la marc, wtf u doing...
Marc: Sorry la, people tired...
Zee: ...

69' Marc is substituted for geremi, who will play in DMF and coloccini will be playing CB

72' Jan goes out of the penalty area, dribbling pass 3 players, and from halfcourt, he does a shot, oh sadly it hits the pole, hold on, its shola amoebi with the poach, its a goal!

73' WBA 2-2 Newcastle

90+2' A foul 23m away from the post by west brom, seems like Zee will be taking this free kick... He moves back a little, with a beckam style freekick pose, he kicks the ball, beautiful curve into the area, and its received by Derrick, who does a bicycle shoot and its a goal!! What a goal!! in such dramatic fashion...

90+2' WBA 2-3 Newcastle

90+3' Its the end of the game, what a game for Newcastle, they'll take the 3 points here.

Results
WBA 2-3 Newcastle
Scorers: WBA-Greening(Pen)38', own goal(marc)68', Newcastle-Ler 10', Amoebi 73', Derrick 90+3'
MOTM: Jan, He may have conceded 2 goals, he saved a penalty and several goal-looking shots
Flop: Marc, too lazy, thou he made a few good plays...

So after this match, newcastle played with a few other teams
results are as follows(will only state scorers of Newcastle

Newcastle 3v0 Reading, Scorers: Shola Amoebi 6', 52', Ler 82' MOTM: Derrick(2 assists)
Newcastle 4v1 Sheffield Wed, Scorers: Ler 23', 51', Zee 38'(FK), Jonas Guiterrez 77' MOTM: Zee(scored a 37m freekick and 2 assists)
Crystal Palace 1v1 Newcastle, Scorers: Derrick 84', MOTM: Derrick(1 goal and great playing despite draw), Zee injured 12'(Violent slide from 2 sides, both player gets yellow card, out for 6 matches at least)

Newcastle now, with Zee out, is definately having problems as hes like the control tower of the team, how will they fare the next 6 matches out?

Next chapter, League Cup begins

OOF, Chapter...3 i think

After a long hiatus, we shall return to the OOF story.

The last chapter was "Return", where ler returned to the oof after "betraying", and gained a new power, oboiizard.

Chapter 3 - Loss

Its another sunny day where our heroes were having a great time slacking as usual at the OOF playground.

Jan: Ughh.... sibei sien... damn tired, just finish exam...
Marc: Exam? what exam?
Jan: Eh... I also dunno wor, siao liao... my memory going bad sia...
Zee: Must be the side effects of overstudying...
Marc: I know... I damn hungry now, lets go makan!
Derrick: Where got food?? Bottom lane?
Zee/Jan/Marc/Ler: -.-''....

And so, the heroes went for lunch at a coffee shop... But little did they know, that this coffee shop was a boii territory...

Jan: Eh ler... kaos, what ur stomach made of?
Ler: Err.. Duno...
Jan: Kao eh, see you eat i damn no mood eat liao -.-
Ler: Ok wad, i ate 2 bowls of wanton mee, 1 chicken cutlet, 1 chicken chop, 1 pork chop, 1 spring chicken, 4 siew mais, 16 pratas, 5 murtabaks, 3 nasilemaks and 26 curry puffs only wad...
Jan: .... Ugh, sua, i go take a walk.

And as jan took a walk, he was ambushed by boii-ians, the 7 demons army, which consists of 7 strong soldiers- Kan, ni, na, bu, chao, ji, bye.

Jan: ... can't i f****** have a moment of peace!?.... *draws out his golden eclipse*
Jan: .... shit.... i forgot how to use this... wtf?

And jan got totally owned by the 7demon army without even hitting them...
7demons: we shall bring him back to the HQ...

Meanwhile, in the coffee shop...
Zee: Where jan go sia...
Derrick: checking rune maybe
Zee: eh derrick, enough of your dota references la...
Derrick: okok... -hhn
:ok.. eh hold on... where did my name go?
:.... wtf?
:rofl...
:obua is gay!!
:EHHHHHHHHH
:?????
:boiiiiii......
:....
:eh can revert?
:dunno got command or not...
:nevermind, i'll call the writer...

.........

Zee: ok... wtf, who said obua is gay?
Marc/Derrick/Ler: Dunno...
Zee: Well... Whatever, lets go back to HQ and wait for jan's return...

Little did the OOF know, that Jan is currently in the HQ of the Boii-ians...

Kan: Heheheheh, lord fluffytiger, we have captured one of the OOF...
Fluffytiger: muahahahahaa.... goooooood.... So who do we have here?
Jan: ....?
Fluffytiger: so i see, you're jan
Jan: Jan....? Whos that... Who're you? Why am i here? What am i doing here? Where am i? How did i get here?... hold on.... WHO AM I????

Kan:*whispers* It seems he lost his memories....
Fluffytiger: ... any fool can see that... fool...
Fluffytiger: Ok, you, you're Jan, and you're a general of the Boii army
Jan: Is that right?... oh ok...
Fluffytiger: i'll train you to fight then, the art of the boii-ians...
Boii: Boii.... hold on....
Fluffytiger: Wh.. Oh its you master... What do you want?
Boii: Boii... I want to train that guy personally...
Fluffytiger: .... As you wish master...

And thus, Jan got trained by boii in the arts of fighting in the boii-ian army... Will this mark the beginning of the end of the oof?.... stay tuned....

Forbidden Love 3

It is a typical day in the HQ of obuaism where the members are all hanging out. The world is so peaceful nowadays as Boii did not seem to be causing any trouble recently. No one knows why...

Obua: "Ehhh Jan, can help me go slay a monster or not?"

Jan: "You don't know I every tuesday not free de meh?...sorry ahx"

Since recently, Jan had been going out every tuesday on the dot. No one knows where he goes and what he did outside. Highly suspicious..

Zee: "I agree with the narrator, very suspicious sia..."
Marc: "Wa...off day leh...let him go where he want lah..."
Ler: " Follow him lah...nothing to do also..."
Derrick: "Very bad leh...but I agree...lets go!"

So the four man party follow Jan out to his little secret. They followed him all the way to tampines...a boii-dominant area.

Zee: "What Jan doing here sia...crazy...care hor...b if u see boii...dun tio gank"
Ler: "Ya...hug each other, don't tio backstab!"
Marc: "I see some of the guards mia...care hor..."
Derrick: "I go take rune!"
Zee, Ler, Marc: "Huh? what rune?"

So they continued to follow Jan while being cautious against any boii-ians' ambush. Ironically, Jan walked on the streets openly yet no boii-ians attack him.

Jan finally stopped outside an apartment, and rang the doorbell. What happened after that was WTFOMGBBQ!.....

Zee: "Ok, I must be dreaming...wake up wake up!"
Marc: "I fainting liao...someone hold me..."
Ler: LMAO Omg...!#$*%^&*
Derrick: "-switch lolx!"

That evening...

Zee: "Oi Jan! Prepare to trouble!"
Ler: "And make it double!"
Marc: " To protect Obuaism from devestation"
Derrick: "To unite all obuaians within this nation"
Zee: "To denouce the evils of truth and love"
Marc: "To reach out to the stars above!"
Ler: "Stop that..."
Derrick: "Meow! thats right!"

Jan: "Whaat??"

Obua: "Ehhh...don't fight!!!! Stop!!!..."

Lord obua came in the nick of time to stop the fight...however...after seeing Zee's handphone, he turned back on his words and joined the attack on Jan.

???: "Boii, I save you!"

Boii appeared and took Jan away...what!?...

[Video]
Jan appeared at a doorstep. Someone opened the door, boii was that someone. Jan gave a kiss on boii's cheeks. Boii led him in. Various sounds can be heard from inside....

....Thats all....

I feel that it is time to really organise some plans for our great cult.

HQ Fraction
This is where the orders will be sent out. Any activities or emergencies will be taken control by the HQ Fraction. This fraction will be overseen by Jen and Z.

Buas Ops Fraction
This fraction will be incharge of secret infiltration, assasination, information stealing. Fraction chief: Z

Assault Fraction
This fraction will be incharge of main head on assaults. Fraction chief: Mark

Defence Fraction
This fraction will be incharge of main defence of our bases. Fraction chief: Le

HR Fraction
This fraction will be incharge of deployment, human resource matters. Fraction chief: Jen

This will be the fractions running our operations...our activities will be based on this arrangment

Forbidden love 2

In a dark room, they looked at each other intensely. Marc let out a long moan and signalled ler to come over to his side. Ler answered the call without hesitation and progressed towards the room interior. Marc then took out a whip and fingered ler to sit down like a dog. Ler responded and whined gently....

Marc whipped ler hard on the ass and got him high, another whip made him crazy as he whagged his tongue out and started licking marc's theighs. Marc then put down the whip and enjoyed the sensation happening on his whole body while ler is licking him. A bulge appeared on both of their pants...they know it is time to take them off...

At this moment...the door opened...

Zee: Hey didn't know you two are in here...sorry came to take something...continue...i go out now

Zee left the room to the duo and they once again commenced their actions. This time, marc bit ler on his left cheek bone which caused him a huge moan...moaning heavily, ler then took of his pants and underwear...showing a 6 inch monster. Marc was estatic at the sight and quickly proceeded to lick it...up and down. Ler closed his eyes as the sensation engulfed his soul. Marc then took of his bottom and bended down...showing a small round asshole...

The couple continued their business....(hell i am not gonna elaborate...)

Meanwhile...Jan was looking at his computer screen...what is on it...porn?...yes...it is the footage taken from the room where Marc and Ler is!!...He let out a smirk...

Jan: With this...I can command them like slaves...

Jan saved the file in a DVD and sitted himself on a couch outside Marc and Ler's room, waiting patiently for the married couple to come out...

Marc: honey..I had fun...i love you always..."
Marc gave a kiss on Ler's cheeks...thats when he saw Jan.

Marc: what you sitting here for?
Jan: Well...I got an interesting video here...wanna watch?

Jan played the footage in front of the duo...who were so raged they wanted to kill him

Ler: Why you! I'll smack you with a hammer!!
Jan: I wouldn't do that if I were you...
Jan pointed to the video...signalling that he will expose them if he was hurted..

Jan: Just do as I say and I will ensure you guys would not become a national icon...

Marc and Ler were left with fear...Jan would have absolute control against them now...they would have to do things against their concience...

Three days later...

Marc and Ler found a note below their door.

Dear honeymoon couple,
I would like you two to help me kill these people on the list attached. Whichever method you use to kill is fine but if anyone of them gets away, you will know the consequences. Please avoid being caught as I still have the need for your help in the future.
Jan.

The day which they have feared has come. They look at each other and decided the best solution...they walked out of the door, leaving a note behind.

Jan, you think you can get us to do these heartless things so easily? we will rather die than betray our hearts and kill those people with you...we will expose you and die in glory!

Upon seeing the note, Jan rushed out to stop the duo. He finally found them at a cliff, preparing to jump.

Jan: hey hey hey, issit worth it to jump off? come on, its just a few lives thats all...
Ler: Never! we would rather die!
Marc: yes dear...lets be together again in the next life.
Just as the couple prepared to jump...a sound from a distant...

Obua: Ehhhh...divine punishment!!

A shockwave appeared and hit Jan on the face...knocking him out instantenously. Obua appeared to save the day.

Obua: don't worry you guys...I will teach this rascal right from wrong when he wakes...your video will never be exposed i promise you...

Marc & Ler: Thank you lord obua!

Jan was carried off by obua...one month later...

Jan: I am so sorry!! I swear i wont do it again! Help me plead with lord obua...I cant take it anymore...

Marc: Ohh? Hmm...nah...

Jan: Please!! I beg you...he forces me to watch these damn disgusting gay porn video...i puke out everything I ate...its terrible!!

Ler: Well...we can supply you with all the videos you want...enjoy

Jan: NOOOOOOOO!!!

Obua: Where did that rascal went off to...if I catch you I gonna feed you to a real gay...

Jan started his escape from obua...

The End...

From the board of directors at Obuaism

You all might have noticed about the annoying popups when you open the page. This is the current version of the Obua prayer song. It was officially launched many months ago. Here is the lyrics.

Obua (Obua)
Jin Tok Kong (Very powerful)
Bo Cheng Sa (Never wear shirt)
Hor Gina Kua (Give little children see)
Obua Teng Kor Hor Le Kua (Obua take of his pants let you see)
Cockmeat Sandwich Hor Le Jia (Cockmeat sandwich give you eat)
Obua Teng Kor Hor Le Kua (Obua take of his pants let you see)
Cockmeat Sandwich Hor Le Jia (Cockmeat sandwich give you eat)

We hope that you will learn this song and sing it by heart....Obua will bless you

Jen

Obua Original Five Side Story

Typical day of Derrick!



Ever since derrick joined obua as the 5th disciple, he had been looking forward to the things he can learn from everyone.

At 10am...

Derrick: Hey Zee...paiseh ah, can you teach me how to levitate?

Zee: You see that bed over there? Go lie on it with half your body exposed outside...that way you can levitate.

Derrick: Thanks man! I will go train now...

So Derrick went on and trained for 3 hours on the bed. He seemed satisfied because he learned how to levitate!

At 1pm

Derrick: Hey Jan! Paiseh ah...can you train with me? Just block I cut you with my iron katana!

Jan: Sure!...Just block right?...like that??

Derrick: Paiseh...not like that...I show you...you take my katana and cut...

So for the next 1 hour, Derrick ended up mastering sheild blocking techniques...

at 2pm

Derrick: Hey Marc..paiseh...how to apply for off day ah?

Marc: Very easy...take this form...write the day you want off day. At there...you write my name...easy right? So you writing now?

Derrick: See first...because I want to be useful so maybe I wont take any off days ba...

Marc: Crap...ah I mean...good you are so hardworking!

at 2.30pm

Derrick: Hey ler! Paiseh ah...Can...

Ler: Ah wait...Derrick ah...can help me go catch some fishes?

Derrick: see first...

Ler: What see first?? I ask you go you go hor!...Ok lah I teach you one song you help me can?

Derrick: Ok ok! What song!?

Ler taught derrick a song...but ended up giving up teaching and went fishing himself...because derrick sucks as a singer...

At 6pm

Obua: eehhhh...so derrick...hows today...what did you learn....

Derrick: I learned how to levitate!...block with sheild...write off day application form...

Obua: ehhhh not bad ah...anymore??

Derrick: Oh yeah I learned a new song!

Obua: Sing for me hear?

Derrick: see first lah...I paiseh...okok I sing ok!

The next day...a notice on the board...

From today onwards, no one is to sing in within 1 km near lord obua. Offenders would be raped and killed....raped again and killed again.

Obua

This...is a typical day of Derrick

The untold legend~ Boii, one-shot.

It was the year, 197X, where the country is in chaos.

There was a evil dictator who wanted control over the world, named Lin-abei.
His army is known as the Chiongsua.
The name Chiongsua is feared throughout the world, and many people died while putting on a resistance against them.

Chiongsua General- Far-ger: Towkay Lin, now onli left that little country called singapore haven take over lei.... how ahs?
Lin-abei: Eh, kaninabu eh, so simple you also dunno? You wan me to make you no father's day celebrate? Go take over that country la!!!!
Far-ger: Y-y-y-yes, at once sire.

And so, Farger lead his army to the country of singapore.

Meanwhile, in fort canning hill, war room...

El Kay Wy: So my fellow people, how shall we handle this threat?
Go Choq Thong: Well, we have no hope of defeating them... They're far too strong for us to beat...
Xin Buun Ann: If i would voice my opinion... I've heard of this lady in a laboratory in tampines whom have special powers... How bout we look for her?
El Kay Wy/Go Choq Thong: Thats a good idea i guess... we must make use of every resource we have here to defend against this crisis...

And so, the 3 leaders of singapore went towards tampines, looking for this lady.

In the laboratory...

Scientist- Elbert Aistien, aka Elbert: Sho... Art had heard that thou people want thu see this lady wit special poweress right?
El Kay Wy: Indeed, can we meet her? And please speak good english, we had this speak good English campaign going on....
Elbert: Okok... But i must tell you, it is really dangerous, this lady has the power to even destroy the world if she wants to, you sure you wanna use her against the Chiongsua army? The consequences may be dangerous...
El Kay Wy: Don't worry, i have my own idea... We'll just hit her mind and make her become dumb...
Elbert: Hope that works then...

*Elbert opens the vault that the lady lived in, which looks like a cave

Elbert: She is known as Boi, also known as, bio-organism-incinerator. She can make anything her skin touches corrode in seconds.
Boi: So what do you want of me?
El Kay Wy: Well, singapore is in crisis now, and only you can help, would you help us defeat the Chiongsua Army?
Boi: What good would i gain?
El Kay Wy: You'll be freed from this laboratory
Elbert: H-hol...
El Kay Wy: Its ok... *Pats Elbert's shoulders*
Elbert: *sighs*, whatever you say, sire... (i know this is gonna be a bad idea...)

Boi then took off, to fight against the Chiongsua army at the singapore custom, alone.

Far-ger: Heh, so Singapore sent their army over... Eh hold on... just 1 person?
Boi: *Evil grin*

In a split second, Far-ger, along with the full army of Chiongsua(approx 5mil) got totally wtfpwnz-ed.

Far-ger: w..w...wha..t... is.... th..is.... Urggg... paiseh, taokay lin... *dies*
Boi: Heh, Too easy...
Lin-abei: So i see you've destroyed my army in 0.02524524779 seconds. buay pai...

And Lin-abei suddenly appeared in front of boi...

Boi: So you're their leader?
Lin-abei: Ya, i'm their leader, Lin-abei...
Boi: Prepare to die for my freedom, muahahahaha
Lin-abei: We shall see bout that!

And the duel started
Lin-abei drew out his sword and rushes towards boi, attempting to cut her.
Boi: Too slow *evades*
Boi then spawned a sword out of her skin by corroding and stabs Lin-abei in the chest.

In a single hit, the tryant/dictator/wadever you wanna call him, Lin-abei was killed, and the "epic" battle of the decade came to an end.

El Kay Wy: Heh, now to seal you forever... *fires a sniper to the back of boi's head*
Boi: Argh!! *falls and "dies"?*
El Kay Wy: Now my job here is done... The world is now safe from the chiongsua army... *walks off*

After this incident, many people worshipped Boi as their hero, and renamed her boii. (These people eventually became boi-ians after knowing she revived... hold on, shit, spoilers >.>)

Boii: Ugh... Who am i... *sees a little boy*... Boiiiiii...... Bring me to block 877....

Disgeabua: Obualord's Dream

Due to popular demand...season 2 is up!...more action...more Obuaness!


Episode 1: Rain of hope

In the outerlands...

??? : Huff...puff...Huff...puff....I am at my limit soon...I must get to Obualand...

At the same time...in Obualand

Obualord: Ehhhh...Zee..I want you to go to the border of outerlands and push back the threat of the babaric tribes. You make take an army along...if you want...

Zee: Yes sir! I'll go alone though...(When the hell did we have an army...)

This is obualand, a land where the great obualord resides in. His subordinates whom he calls buasels consist of 5 powerful warriors...yes its character introduction again...as well as fashion updates...

Zee: I think maybe I should ask the rest for help...
Wielding his dual blades, he is the most agile warrior in obualand. This is zee, a man absolutely loyal to obualord. his dual blade skills remain unparalled in the land...he love to wear pink nowadays...and dons a pink cape behind him...

Jan: You want me to go to outerlands with you?....sorry bro...I have another mission on hand..
A man with inner demonic powers recently brought to control when he met the obualord. however, he has yet to aqquire his right weapon. Currently he uses a spear...plainly clothed which he reason it as comfortable...

Marc: Its my off day so I am so not going out...I am sick as well...shit my asthma is getting worse
A large oof and a hunting horn expert. Buffing his comrades to great strength is his job. He loves off days...he love wearing the same shirt for 1 month straight...

Ler: Ah...no I am not busy with barngaelas today...because they are extinct...(Refer to season 1) but...I want to sleep...I haven't slept for 1 week...
He seemed depressed over the extinction of his favorite pasttime whip party...a hammer user and bloodlord hidden powers. Love game shirts....

Cierra: Ahh...I have to search for the aurora jewels...so I am afraid I can't go with you...
The princess of the outerlands has seeked refuge in obualand due to creating havoc in her homeland...now searching for the aurora jewels which are the core of her powers. She is an elegant woman and wear nice clothings...

Obualord: ehhhh no one want go with you...I also don't want...how dare you ask your master for help you useless imbecile!...
The lord of obualand...after defeating the previous overlord with one shockwave. Other abilities is unknown...he always go topless and likes to EHHHHHH....

Zee: guess I have to go alone then...sien zzz....

zee setted of for the outerland border where this Kani tribe are trying to invade. Their leader, kanilaopei and his wife kanilaobu posesses strong powers. Their son kaninabei and daughter kaninabu were recently killed by a mystery person suspected to be from obualand and thus kanilaopeilaobu resolve to destroy obualand. The tribe only left them 2 by the way...

Meanwhile at the kani village

??? : Please...save me....

Kanilaopei: Sure <3....no problem lady...whats your name...

??? : I am rain...I am going to obualand...please show me the direction...

Kanilaopei: I...er...not sure...come my house I check for you...(hehehe)

Rain: Thanks...kind soul...

Rain followed kanilaopei to his house...oblivious of her danger. Kanilaopei had already started his plan...he served her a drink which was duped. However...Rain is not one to be trifled with.

Rain: (Smell of duping medicine...hmm...maybe his is not a kind soul after all...)
Character intro again! Rain is a young teenager girl who has the looks but is full of poison. Poison master...seeking for obualand.

Rain: Oh...its hot...my lips touched the cup...wheres is the restroom?

Kanilaopei: Its behind...go on hahas your drink will cool down by the time you come out!

So rain went to the bathroom....kanilaopei being a pervert took the cup and kissed the part which rain had lipped...and poisoned...in the matter of seconds...kanilaopei was running in the house naked...just then...kanilaobu returned from hunting...

Kanilaobu: holy...honey what are you doing???

Rain: This pervert brought me to his house and stripped....its disgusting!

Kanilaobu: Kanilaopei!!! your so dead!

Kanilaobu was so furious she accidentally killed kanilaopei...feeling guilty...she took her own life...the invading threat of kani tribe is over...

zee: come on kani tribe...you want a piece of me!?....coward...you are not coming out!? hey u...

Zee ended up waiting outside the village for 3 weeks...not realising the tribe is gone....

Rain: hmm...i'll reach obualand soon....my dear honey I am coming!

To be continued...

Next episode: Rain or storm!?

obua's search for allies- chapter 5~ derrick

this particular afternoon, obua came back from saturn.

Obua: Ehh... i'm gonna go for a walk, take good care of our HQ!
the oof: Yes sire!

And so, our lord went for a walk to this little town called punggol.

Obua: Ehh... Sibehh sien aehhh... everyday fight boii-ians... see oso sien...

While walking, obua suddenly heard a little battle in a few blocks ahead

Obua: Ehh... I wonder.... Ehh...

After reaching the location, he saw this young man, around the age of jan, fighting a few boi-ians, with a katana-like sword.

Young guy: Eh paiseh, can help a lil, that guy there?
Obua: Ehh........... okok...
Obua: EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! DIVINE PUNNISHMENT!!!!!!!!!
Obua sends a super soundwave that destroys the boi-ians
boi-ians: ughhhh

then, a large humaniod-lion creature with crazily heavy armour, 2 giant axes behind him and metal gaunlets on his arm came out from somewhere...

young guy: shit... its him...
obua: ehh.... hold on, whats your name? i'm lazy to type young guy every time...
young guy: its derrick
obua: ehh.... ok derrick, whos this "him" you're refering to?
derrick: well, that guy is called fluffytiger. he is with those weird zombie-like creatures earlier. He has been terrorizing this town for weeks.
fluffytiger: hehehe... get them, my servants! make sure they all die!!!! (fluffytiger says while summoning 4 tigers around him)
tigers: roah!!!!!!!!!!!
obua: ehhehehehehe, their roar so soft... kenasai sia -.-.... EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DIVINE PUNISHMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

In just one soundwave, the tigers got obliterated.

fluffytiger: shit... wtf? knn, HAX0r!!!!!! i'll BANN YOU!
obua: go ahead... i'm standing here
derrick: yarhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

derrick took out his sword and leaps towards fluffytiger, attempting to kill him, but the attempt was stopped by fluffytiger easily with one arm, or rather 2 fingers.

fluffytiger: Weakling, you can never kill me! "sehros"!!
fluffytiger then charges a beam with his other hand and fires it on derrick.

obua: ehh shit!, EHHHHHHHH!!!!
obua then fires a soundwave to negate the effect of the sehros fired by the fluffytiger, and while fluffytiger is recharging, derrick kicks himself out of the grasp of fluffytiger, beside obua.

derrick: paiseh, i shouldn't have chiong-ed at him...
obua: ehh.. you siao ah? why so stupid? you see his thick thick armour you sure know hes some stupid final boss of some game le ma, why the hell you go solo him?
derrick: sorry, i'm not siao, i'm derrick, how i know hes so strong? maybe his armour for show nia ma, paiseh la....
fluffytiger: oi!
obua: ehhh! you don't play punk with me ahs, you believe i can kill you easily?
derrick: really ahs? show me show me?
fluffytiger: OIIII!!!!!!!!!
obua: ehhh! you sure? really will die one hor
derrick: har, like tht then nevermind ba... paiseh...
fluffytiger: OIIIII YOU two!!! i'm still here la kao eh, dun like that leh, steal my screen time!
obua: EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! DIVINE PUNISHMENT!
obua then releases a really strong soundwave that sent fluffytiger back to the hq of the boi-ians
derrick: holy papadum!!! wtf was that?
obua: ehh.. my trademark finisher... now... since that asshole is gone... will you join my army?
derrick: paiseh...
obua: ehh, wad paiseh? why you keep saying paiseh everytime ehs?
derrick: paiseh la, my favorite word ma... see first la... duno wan join or not...
obua: ehh, wakao eh, where got see first one, wan join then join, dun join means dun join and i'll have to kill you now...
derrick: okok, paiseh, i'll join....maybe?
obua: ehh, don't maybe!, if you join you'll learn magic!
derrick: really??? ok i join!

And so, derrick, with his long sword, iron katana, joined the obuaians.

Hero's Origin: Chapter 7

Endangered! Holy toad

Obua saw toad limbs BBQ-ed by some fisherman...OMG did they get the holy toad by mistake!? No...it can't be...engulfed by rage, obua let out a shockwave and killed the fishermen. So what if the fishermen were killed? The toad would never revive...

As obua sank into sorrow, voices nearby floated to his ear.

Store owner: "Holy toads for sale....10 for $1"

Obua: "Ehhhh wtf...isn't it a rare beast!?"

So Obua went over and tried to buy some...to his amaze...there would thousands...no...millions of holy toads at that store! Upon further questioning, he realised that...holy toads are thought to be rare because in the past, there were very few of them, however they were taught to have sex by some random human and mass reproduced...thus there are so many that they spoilt the market. (by the way, they are renamed as Sex toads since they were seen having sex all day long)

Happy with getting the grainpowder from the toad, Obua sets off to look for the next item...Bluzard claw...

To be Continued...

On this land, two major powers fought each other as equals. Lord Obua and Menace Boii had pitted against one another endlessly to sought true victory. Under lord obua's command were 4 great warriors known as the Obua Original Four (OOF). Jan, Ler, Marc and Zee vow to serve their lord to the ends of earth. Peace in the land was broken when Boii's evilness spreaded, and a strong army of boii-ians were sweeping through the land. Only Obua stood up against this evil...

Two years have passed since the first blood was spilled, the land was torn into two. Countless battles were fought everyday and the people were suffering. That brought another calamity....

Meanwhile, in Tampines, guarded by Jan...

Jan: Uneasiness within the people, whats going on...

Obua-ian: Reporting sir!...There is a internal attack by the civilians!

True enough, countless of residents in Tampines are going on a rampage against the Obua-ians. Unable to harm them, the Obua-ians are forced to take up defensive stand.

Jan: what is happening!? Report this to the OOF immediately!

Obua-ian: Yes sir! Reporting! Damages sustained still minimal, but we can't hold for long.

Jan: What!??

At the frontier, the civilians are pushing in bit by bit. Somehow, they are gaining the upperhand.

Obua-ian: Reporting! Similar situations are happening in our controlled areas, backup is delayed! Suspected Boii-ians involvement.

Jan: No, this has nothing to do with them. They would not do such underhand tactics...hmmm why...

Obua-ian: Reporting! Scouts sighted same situation in the boii-ian side!

Jan: hmmph...request a cease fire and a meeting with their general!

The civilians had all turned against the obua-ians and the boii-ians. An evil conspiracy in the air...a meeting between Jan and Boii-ian general Fluffy Tiger happened in secrecy at the border town of Ang Mo Kio.

Jan: General Tiger Fluffy, I'll cut things short. The situation now is clear, both sides are suffering heavy casualties defending both externally and internally. I suggest we form a "battlefront" against this mysterious outbreak.

Tiger: Agreed...condition...you...ambassador...me...also.

Left with no choice, Jan went over to Boii's side as a peace ambassador while Fluffy Tiger did the same. In the case of betrayal, peace ambassador would be killed...

In the space of three days, due to the overwhelming number of civilians...many towns fell.
Obua - Pasir Ris, Tampines, Punggol
Boii - Joo Koon, Pioneer, Jurong

The two sides retreated inwards and formed a circle defence line...as fighting continues within...its pointless as civilians are everywhere...

Zee: how to fight? we are up against at least 2 million civilians!

True enough...its a hopeless situation...as the enemies draws near....


To be Continued - Battlefront - 2nd half...